Commentary: Suffering from Kansas City Chiefs fatigue? Why it’s OK to join the club

SEATTLE – (Scene opens in a depressing, windowless conference room in the basement of a Seattle office building. Faded motivational posters involving cats and mountain climbers dangle from thumb tacks, as they have for decades. Fluorescent overhead lights lazily flicker, while a huddle forms around pitchers of burnt coffee and day-old doughnuts tempting from the creaky card table in the corner of the room.

Meanwhile, a projector last seen in your seventh-grade science class throws seven bolded words against the front wall:

WELCOME, MEMBERS OF THE CHEIFS FATIGUE CLUB

(The word “Chiefs” is misspelled, possibly on purpose.

Facing rows of crooked chairs, cats and mountain climbers, a Seattle Times columnist calls for order. He holds a gavel, for some reason. The power is apparently getting to his head.)

Order, everybody! Order. Please take your seats. There’s lots of good seats.

(He bangs the gavel, an unnecessary exclamation point.)

We all know why we’re here.

We’re here because we’re tired.

We’re tired of the Kansas City Chiefs – a team that has made 10 straight playoff appearances, squatting on the couch of our collective consciousness. A team that has won back-to-back Super Bowls by six combined points, clawing into eternity. A team with tentacles that stretch outside of stadiums – to commercials, to tabloids, to The Eras Tour, to pop culture’s cobwebbed corners and crevices. The Chiefs, it seems, are inescapable.

We’re tired of seeing Patrick Mahomes – whose greatness does not require gimmicks – stop short along the sideline, fishing for a flag. We’re tired of hearing Andy Reid bellow “Bundle-rooski!” in the commercials that unapologetically echo in our heads. We’re tired of the incessant camera flashes to iconic pop star Taylor Swift, who would presumably prefer to support her boyfriend, Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce, in peace. We’re tired of controversial calls and a team that annually traumatizes the Buffalo Bills’ cursed fan base. We’re tired of the circus.

We’re just tired, and we’re allowed to be.

But not everyone agrees.

“If you’re not a Chiefs fan, that’s OK,” “NFL Today” analyst Nate Burleson said after KC’s 32-29 win over Buffalo in last week’s AFC championship. “But resist the urge to fall for the narrative that we’re tired of seeing them win, that we may be fatigued of watching KC go to the Super Bowl over and over again. You are witnessing greatness, and just be happy that you are alive to be there to see it.”

The gall of this guy.

Be grateful you’re alive to watch Goliath trample your favorite team! To bow before Thanos, as he callously conquers and collects bedazzled rings!

Here’s a common misconception: This is not about appreciating greatness. Mahomes’ artistry is awe-inspiring and undeniable, an avalanche of arm angles and innovation. In seven seasons as a starter, six Pro Bowls and three Super Bowl wins, he has changed how the position is played and evaluated. He has 67.8% completions with 50 touchdowns and eight interceptions in 20 playoff games, amassing a 17-3 record, an all-time winner on an all-time team.

Reid is one of the most accomplished coaches in NFL history – a mustachioed 66-year-old offensive savant. Kelce is one of the game’s greatest tight ends, with 12,151 regular-season receiving yards. Defensive coordinator Steve Spagnuolo, a brazen blitz-sender, must also be admired.

We can appreciate all of the above … and be tired of it. Both things can be true.

“America wants a new story,” Dan Patrick said this week on his titular radio show. “They want a new story in all sports. It’s not just the Chiefs. They’re the latest, and people get tired of people winning.”

That is true of dynasties stretching across sports. It was true of the New England Patriots and the Golden State Warriors and the Alabama Crimson Tide, and on and on and on.

But this is not merely a rebellion against Goliath, same as it ever was. It’s also the effect of a festering feeling, that this franchise bathes in riches while barely squeaking by.

Consider the most dominant teams in NFL history. The 2007 Patriots, who went 16-0 in the regular season, played just four one-score games and won by an average score of 36.8-17.1.

The 1985 Chicago Bears, who went 15-1, played three one-score games and won by an average of 28.5-12.4.

The 1972 Miami Dolphins, who went 14-0, played three one-score games and won by an average of 27.5-12.2.

The 2024 Chiefs, who went 15-2, played 11 one-score games and won by an average of 22.6-19.2. (Exclude their 38-0 loss to Denver in Week 17, when Kansas City rested its starters, and the average remains 22.6-16.9.)

(The columnist swaps out slides on the projector, ignoring a snore that sounds like someone starting a muffled lawn mower.)

2024 Chiefs statistics

Offense

Total offense: 327.6 yards per game (16th)

Yards per play: 5.1 (21st)

Yards per pass attempt: 6.7 (23rd)

Pass offense: 222.4 yards per game (14th)

Sacks allowed: 41 (17th)

Rush offense: 105.3 yards per game (22nd)

Yards per carry: 4.0 (27th)

Scoring offense: 22.6 points per game (15th)

Third-down conversions: 48.5% (second)

Red zone TD rate: 53.8% (22nd)

Defense

Total defense: 320.6 yards allowed per game (ninth)

Opponent yards per play: 5.3 (ninth)

Takeaways: 20 (14th)

Pass defense: 218.8 yards allowed per game (18th)

Sacks: 39 (18th)

Rush defense: 101.8 yards allowed per game (eighth)

Opponent yards per carry: 4.1 (fourth)

Scoring defense: 19.2 points allowed per game (fourth)

Opponent third-down conversions: 43.3% (26th)

Opponent red zone TD rate: 51.9% (eighth)

• • •

Besides their record, the Chiefs don’t lead the league in just about any area.

Except, well …

Game-winning drives: Seven

We can complain about calls, like the fourth-down spot (plus the preceding third-down spot) Sunday that effectively buried the Bills. We can berate our televisions. We can craft conspiracy theories. We can bang the wooden gavels we bought on Amazon.

But the Chiefs just get it done.

Here’s another misconception: Chiefs fatigue should translate to television ratings. But football always wins. The AFC championship averaged 57.4 million viewers on CBS, the most-watched conference title game since 2012. When the Chiefs and Eagles meet in the Super Bowl on Feb. 9, the world will be watching.

Whether we love ’em, hate ’em or tolerate ’em, we’ll watch anyway.

“You may hate the Chiefs,” NFL Network’s Kyle Brandt said on “Good Morning Football” this week. “But there is something called hate-watch, and you will watch. Because you know what? If you think the officials always help out the Chiefs, you want to see when they allegedly do it again. Or if the Chiefs finally get beat and fall on their faces, you want to see that. Because you can’t stand them.

“That’s fine. That’s fanhood. That’s emotion. That’s human beings. Feel that way.”

Exactly. Don’t let anybody tell you you’re not rooting right. If you want to cheer, you should. If you want to boo, you should. If you’re tired, I get that, too. There’s a gallon of burnt coffee in the back of the room.

(He bangs the gavel again, and the muffled lawn mower abruptly stops.)

Thank you for listening.