Front Porch: Adjustment to bifocals not worth the risk

I think my bifocals are trying to kill me … and certainly mess with me in general.

To be fair, I’m new to wearing these things, but I’m pretty sure I won’t be for long. I’ve given them a fair shot. I’m not dead yet, so let’s call it a good try and move on.

I’ve always been just slightly near-sighted, with a bit of astigmatism. I wore glasses when driving at night but didn’t much need them otherwise. In recent years, reading glasses became mandatory for the newspaper. Then for reading labels at the grocery store. Then for menus. Then for computer use. Cataracts had taken over.

I’ve had cataract surgery (both eyes), which has been quite nice, but I do need glasses for near and near-ish vision. And since a tiny correction for far vision was prescribed (optional), it was decided that bifocals might be a good solution.

Getting past the awkward first week, I tried settling into life in bifocals. Being somewhat unsteady on my feet, I’m someone who needs to keep an eye on those feet when stepping up or down and in general when moving about. Haven’t fallen in a couple of years, a feat I’m quite proud of and have worked hard for.

But when casting my eyes downward now, I’m looking through the wrong part of the glasses, and I can’t bend my neck down far enough to peer over the near-vision correction to compensate. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve misjudged a step or incline and nearly fallen.

A fall at my age can be the end of normal life as I know it. I’ve heard too many in-person stories to believe otherwise.

I did fall once in October, but I can’t quite distinguish if I caught my toe and tripped or if I just saw the ground wrong. Quite spectacular it was, too, right in the Trader Joe’s parking lot, in front of God and everyone. No real damage, fortunately, except for my dignity and overall self-confidence.

I also find myself unable to stay on the sweet spot when finding the right angle to see out whichever part of the lenses I’m trying to target, even when my neck is cooperative.

I was at a charity auction recently and looking at items on the buy-it-right-now table, moving my head incrementally to read tags on the various things for sale, then back to “normal.” I probably looked like I had a head tic of some sort. One thing I spied was a quart jar filled with ingredients to make a baked item. The price was $350.

That couldn’t be right, so I readjusted my head (again), to see that it was to be baked at 350 degrees (the mark in front of the 350 was not a dollar sign). The price, marked elsewhere, was considerably less, and I did buy it. Could that have been a brain error on my part, sure, but keeping proper physical focus once the in-focus target has been achieved has become quite annoying.

And, yes, I’ve been back to the ophthalmologist.

I am told that one does adjust. I’m not sure I’ll live long enough or trust my perceptions and sanity in the meantime while I get there. If ever. Bifocals aren’t for everyone.

I still try, but mostly I leave a host of over-the-counter readers all over the house and in the car, to be grabbed when I need to read something close-up. It’s inconvenient as all get out, as it’s on-and-off with them all day long.

But at least I’m not face down outdoors with my nose in the sod or prone and snorting carpet fibers in the house. Remaining upright is a good thing.

Voices correspondent Stefanie Pettit can be reached by email at upwindsailor@comcast.net.