Dear Kiantha: We can’t undo past traumas, but we can better manage the way they present themselves now

Dear Kiantha,

I was an attendee at the West Coast Child Welfare Trainers Conference where you gave a moving and very powerful keynote address on the impacts of trauma to children and families who have been involved with the Department of Children, Youth and Families. You spoke to us about the impact of our work but went a step deeper in speaking to the trauma those of us doing the work bring with us to the work. I felt seen in a way that I had not experienced at a professional conference in my 23-year career.

I have been left thinking about the notion you presented of trauma on top of trauma – and how it shows up in every aspect of our lives. You mentioned that “for those of us working in fields where we support people who are experiencing hardships in their lives, managing our own trauma is critical to not causing them further harm.” You shared with us the reality of “carrying our trauma into every space we occupy.” Since hearing this, I am mindful to stop before I respond or make decisions, as I do not want to cause harm to anyone based on my own trauma. Thank you for this gift of conversation about a subject most of us hide from.

Dear Friend,

There are but a few things that transcend socio-economic status, the social construct that is race, geography, education, experience and time (age) and one of those things happens to be trauma. Trauma doesn’t care who you are or where you are from. Trauma gives no respect to how long you have been in your field or what you do. Trauma can be vile and so disruptive in its wake. That is why we have to talk about it openly and courageously.

Trauma has a way of sneaking into the smallest crevices of our existence, often wreaking havoc on our human experience. The more we learn to see ourselves and others through a trauma-informed lens, the closer we can connect to ourselves and others. This is true for both our personal and professional lives.

None of us can undo past traumas we have experienced. What we can do is better manage the way they present themselves in our present and our future. No more hiding, the gig is up for trauma, soulful conversations are the path to healing. Let’s keep talking.

Soul to soul,

Kiantha