Dear Annie: Navigating financial and communication boundaries
Dear Annie: I had been in a wonderful relationship with an incredible woman for two years and 10 months. She recently broke up with me because I had not discussed my personal finances with her.
I am very private and have a difficulty time opening up. My reasoning behind not discussing my finances was that we are not living together.
But now that she has broken up with me, I miss her very much. I know that she is the one for me. We are 60 and 59 years old. Please help. I really want this woman forever. – Regrets
Dear Regrets: The best thing you can do is tell her exactly what you told me in this letter – that you are a private person and you didn’t discuss your finances with your girlfriend because you were not married or living together. But now that you said in your letter that she is the one for you, you will be open and honest about your finances and spending habits and expect her to do the same.
If you apologize and clear up what sounds like a miscommunication and she still wants to break up, then you have to move on.
Dear Annie: I grew up in a household where my mother tolerated very little inappropriate behavior. When she was interrupted, she would continue talking, saying, “Pardon me for speaking while you’re interrupting.” And she would continue to speak.
I don’t know if “Love My Mother-in-Law,” who is also struggling with interrupting relatives, has the courage to respond in this manner; perhaps the interrupter would consider changing his behavior if people made him aware of it every time he did it. Make it an issue. Talk about it. Let him know how annoying it is to others. Worth a try. – Grew Up With Corrections
Dear Grew up with Corrections: People will treat you exactly how you let them treat you. It sounds like your mother had very strict boundaries with people about how they could treat her. Thank you for your letter. It highlights the importance of communicating to others what your standards are for acceptable behavior.
Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.