Sue Lani Madsen: Keep a civil tongue in your head

Americans are hungry for a different kind of politics. Braver Angels as an organization is dedicated to feeding that appetite as influencers for a culture of civility instead of civil war.

“We’re trying to do something that has never been done, to build a movement based on disagreement,” said John Wood Jr. to the delegates at the 2023 convention in Gettysburg, Pennsylvania, last week. He emphasized the need to rebuild the political culture until it’s “just normal to talk to people you disagree with because that’s what it means to be an American.”

And more than just talking, which can readily devolve into an uncivil war of words. It’s being able to disagree and continue in relationship. Gettysburg, as one of the most memorable battlefields of our near divorce as a country, was the perfect setting for imagining a renewal of our national vows.

As one of nearly 700 Braver Angels in Gettysburg, I can affirm that we did not all agree. Americans never have. Delegate attendance was balanced by political viewpoint, every blue-leaning delegate balanced with a red-leaning one, plus a healthy contingent of independents. The red and blue lanyards bore no relation to the more superficial characteristics of race or gender often used to divide us. It was a gathering of people committed to real diversity of thought.

There were robust debates on difficult topics including gun control, abortion, immigration, racism and election integrity. We challenged ourselves to think, speak and listen with respect for the humanity of those we disagreed with and to leave no lasting wounds.

Utah’s governor Spencer Cox spoke at the Saturday plenary session, emphasizing the United States as the greatest nation in the world because it was founded on the radical idea of individual freedom, but our selfishness about rights requires a selflessness of responsibility.

Cox, a Republican governor of a predominantly red state, pointed to his responsibility to make sure all voices are heard when difficult decisions are being made. He gave examples of approaching hot culture wars by bringing together supporters of opposing positions to build personal connections. He reported the result has been more respectful dialog and greater bipartisan support for policies that have been cannon fodder for outrage entrepreneurs in other states.

He is launching an initiative called “Healthy Conflict” as the new chair of the National Governors’ Conference. Continuing as we have been is unthinkable, he told the delegates sitting comfortably where the unthinkable had happened.

The battlefield, national cemetery and walking tours in the now quiet downtown all carried reminders of how deadly serious political disagreement can turn. It was impossible to avoid walking on bloody ground.

Rebel footsteps on Yankee soil were unthinkable. While rumors of a Confederate push north had been swirling, no one really thought it would happen. Until it did. The Battle of Gettysburg is noteworthy for two things – Lincoln’s brief remarks at the dedication of the National Cemetery and Pickett’s Charge across an open field setting the “High Water Mark of the Confederacy.” Lee never made it that far north again. More than 157,000 U.S. and Confederate troops engaged over three days. The Army of Northern Virginia was in full retreat on July 3, 1863, after losing nearly a third of its company. There were more than 51,000 total casualties overflowing churches and homes, with over 7,000 fatalities requiring burial.

Human bones turned up in farmers’ fields for decades, the last discovery in 1996. A key artillery position at Little Round Top was closed to tours this summer because a 160 year old live shell was discovered in February. Houses bear signs saying Civil War House, some with placards describing their use as sniper posts or field hospitals. In one house, holes were drilled in the floorboards to let the blood from multiple amputations drain into the cellar.

Is that too graphic? Politely whitewashing history isn’t the memory we need today to avoid more loose talk of a national divorce.

At the closing plenary session, John Wood Jr. told the delegates, “We are a young country with the world’s oldest written constitution, and we are hard on ourselves.”

We are the first durable – at least so far – multitribal country not held together by the authoritarian power of a dictator or a king. America was not founded on a shared language, culture or religion. Our unity rests on the proposition that all of these matter less than a commitment to individual liberty.

On the 75th anniversary of the battle, veterans from both north and the south gathered in Gettysburg to dedicate the Eternal Light Peace Memorial, with an inscription reading “Peace Eternal in a Nation United.”

On the 160th anniversary, Braver Angels want everyone to know the difference between attacking a policy or an action and the dangerous rhetoric of personal attack. Our national unity requires a commitment to individual responsibility, starting with keeping a civil tongue in our heads.

Contact Sue Lani Madsen at rulingpen@gmail.com. She is a Braver Angels volunteer with the Central/Eastern Washington Alliance and serving as State Coordinator alongside her Blue counterpart, Sharmin Banu, of the Western Washington Alliance.