The Full Suburban: When it comes to new furniture, the waiting is the hardest part

Seeing as we’re both well into middle age, Logan and I have decided it’s time we got rid of our grad school/newly married furniture and bought some actual grown-up pieces. It’s been a slow process – neither of us is known for swift decision making – but we’re getting there, one tattered piece of furniture at a time.

Gone are the wooden dining chairs we got out of the dumpster when we were living in married student housing during dental school. Gone is the broken bed frame and disconnected headboard that simply leaned up against our wall. And almost gone are the couches that we bought nearly 11 years ago and which have seen more than their fair share of use since then.

In fact, just two months after we purchased the couches, one of our kids (who shall remain nameless but has since been cut out of our will) threw up all over them. It took all the strength of my mother heart to tend to my sick child before I tended to the couch, which, as you can imagine, was not looking great. My only comfort came in the fact that I had wisely purchased the warranty, so even if a cleaning company couldn’t get out the stain, I would get a new couch cushion, or even a new couch if necessary.

That first stain came out after a couple of attempts from the cleaning company, but that was over 10 years ago, and the couch situation has only gone downhill from there. Once the crown jewel of our home, the ratty couches need to go.

Last fall, Logan and I were finally ready to take the plunge. Our living room is fairly long and narrow, so we had some specific space parameters to work with. Add to that my fairly distinctive design style and the fact that Logan and I are both highly indecisive middle children, and you have yourself a recipe for hours and hours of measuring, research and debate.

We finally decided on a sectional from an online company with glowing reviews. The sectional was beautiful, designed exactly to our specifications and with the promise of seating for all eight of us at a time, even if one ornery child refuses to sit up to make more room for his sister.

I placed the order and just about swallowed my gum when I discovered that the delivery date was set for early March. That’s right, ordered in September 2022, set to be delivered in March 2023.

“Oh well,” I thought. “It’s the perfect couch; it will be worth the wait!” And we sat and we sat on our uncomfortable old couches with dubious vomit stains, waiting patiently for the day that our new sectional would arrive.

Around Thanksgiving, my niece was visiting from out of town when I mentioned that we were expecting new couches in the spring and would be getting rid of our old ones. Seeing as she was getting married in January, her ears perked right up.

“I’d love one of your couches when you’re ready to get rid of them,” she said, and I happily agreed.

Shortly before the wedding, we arranged to have one of the couches sent to her newlywed apartment, and off it went. That left us with a sofa and love seat, which sounds like a lot but is definitely not enough seating for our family, let alone any guests who may be brave enough to come over.

“March will come soon enough!” I chirped to my kids any time they grumbled about sitting on the uncomfortable wooden bench we dragged over from the entryway. “You’re about to be ensconced in the most comfortable couch of your life, so never fear!”

And then last week, I checked my email. Turns out the company from which we bought our sectional is in the process of declaring bankruptcy, and any order placed before 2023 may or may not be fulfilled. What a fun guessing game they have us all involved in!

The customer service line is down because, you know, bankruptcy, so I can’t get a definitive answer on whether we have a couch headed our way or not. And so here we sit, literally on our hands, waiting till March or later to see if a giant sectional somehow appears on our doorstep. I’m not holding my breath, so it’s back to square one we go. I’ll invite you over once we have somewhere for you to sit.

Julia Ditto shares her life with her husband, six children and a random menagerie of farm animals in Spokane Valley. She can be reached at dittojulia@gmail.com.