Dear Annie: Mom delinces daughter’s sleepover request
Dear Annie: My 16-year-old daughter is relentless in begging me to have a sleepover with her boyfriend. She insists they are not sexually active and that she simply wants to hang out with him, watch movies and sleep next to him. For some reason, nothing I say to explain makes any sense to her.
Annie, can you offer any suggestions to shut this down? I hate to say “Because I said so,” but I’m at a loss. – Exhausted Parent
Dear Exhausted: Tell your daughter she is more than welcome to invite her boyfriend over to hang out and watch movies, but that’s all. Having a sleepover with a boy at her age, even one sans sex, is not appropriate, and so long as she is living under your roof, she must abide by your rules.
At the end of the day, the exact reason – and there are many – doesn’t really matter. If you’re uncomfortable with it, the answer is no. She may not agree with you or be happy about it, but she has to respect that boundary. And remember, she will thank you later.
Dear Annie: Before approaching HR or their supervisor concerning their dishonest, underperforming co-worker as you advised, I recommend that “Honest Worker” update their resume and research new jobs in case things go badly. HR is unlikely to devote resources to discipline the difficult co-worker. If they do, it will likely make her more difficult to work with.
Similarly, “Honest Worker’s” supervisor is likely well aware of the co-worker’s actions and has chosen not to address it. Pointing out this failure could end badly for “Honest Worker.” Furthermore, anonymity is never a certainty in an office, and difficult co-worker may learn of “Honest Worker’s” conversations with HR and/or their supervisor and inflict the wrath that “Honest Worker” wants to avoid.
A better approach is to continue to work hard, develop working relationships with colleagues, and seek a promotion or lateral transfer in a different department. In the meantime, pray for the difficult co-worker’s healthy early retirement. – Been There
Dear Been There: Thank you for offering your perspective – and I’m sorry that you had to learn the hard way! I agree that, based on the letter from “Honest Worker,” it is quite possible the problem will not be remedied by a conversation with HR or a supervisor. It’s always smart to hope for the best and prepare for the worst, so your suggestion of researching a plan B before “Honest Worker” embarks on their next attempt for office harmony, is eminently sensible. Thanks again.
Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.