Dear Annie 11/5

Dear Annie: My best friend and I have been friends for about 45 years, and I love her dearly. We live about 1,200 miles apart. I’m always there for her, and sometimes she’s there for me, but not as much as I wish. I don’t need anything from her but a listening ear or advice. We stay in contact most of the time, and I have visited a few times and enjoyed the time with her and her family.

However, there have been many times I have texted or called her, and she hasn’t responded. Then, there are times when she does answer the phone when she has company, and she completely ignores the fact that I’m on the phone and continues to hold a conversation with them. I would much rather her tell me she has company or that she’s busy and will call me back. I have mentioned to her before how this makes me feel. But when she needs a favor, I hear from her several times till her favor has been granted, and after the favor, she ignores my calls and texts. This really hurts, and I’m confused. Am I taking it too personally? – Puzzled Pal

Dear Puzzled: Between work, family, friends and other obligations, everyone is bound to miss a phone call or a text from time to time. But the fact that your friend doesn’t give you her undivided attention – or she will when it’s of benefit to her – is frustrating. Suggest a set time each week or every other week to chat on the phone or FaceTime together with no distractions. This consistent quality time catching up with one another can help bridge the physical gap and strengthen your bond with one another. One of these catch-ups would also be a good time to address the almost transactional encounters you’ve had with her, if they persist and you feel comfortable doing so. After four decades of friendship, I’m sure there’s very little you can’t openly say to a true friend.

Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.