Front Porch: Let’s at least agree to be respectful to other people

In recent weeks I’ve been reading more and more commentary from people whose voices and opinions I respect, that if ever we’re going to reconcile ourselves as one nation undivided, we’ve got to stop hating one another.

Hate an idea, philosophy, course of action – sure. But don’t hate or marginalize the people involved with them, for they are, after all, our neighbors, fellow citizens and often, family members. We are truly all in this together

I believe that.

And with that said, I have to tell a story on myself, one I’m not particularly proud of.

I went to Costco one morning not long ago, arriving early so I could park within sight of the building. After the appropriate wait, I exited my car and began walking toward the now-open store. As I got closer, I was looking down as I walked, beginning to go through my wallet, pulling out my membership card to stash in my coat pocket.

I didn’t notice that there was a man walking parallel to me, but he saw that I wasn’t paying attention to him and that we were about to bump into each other as we made the slight turn through the doors. He slowed his gait and said, in a most upbeat and friendly tone, “let me not trip you up, ma’am, so step on through.”

No sarcasm, just a kind way of making his presence known and a most gentlemanly gesture to an older woman. I said “thanks,” just as brightly, and saw briefly that he was a man perhaps a decade younger than me, dressed in nice jeans with a belt and wearing a tucked-in checked shirt.

It was just a quick glance, as I got back to my card-hunt.

By the shopping carts, I stopped at a trash can to rid my pockets of some tissues and hard-candy wrappers. The man had gone past me to pull a cart out of the long line of carts, but in fact pulled out two, handing one off to me, with a cheerful comment, “I bet you can use one of these, so take this one.”

I wasn’t looking him at that moment, but I was so impressed with his kindness and polite behavior that I thought to say something to him like “Sir, you have absolutely made my morning. Thank you.”

I looked up to do just that. And then I saw that he was wearing a Trump hat.

I was knocked speechless, thinking to myself how someone who displayed such obvious courtesy and generosity could support (so fully that he wears the political paraphernalia) a person who, to me, represents none of that. In that one second, I extrapolated that he must also support an ideology that I do not.

To my very big surprise, I recoiled inwardly. And I said nothing, just nodding, muttering a muffled “thank you” as I accepted the cart, and entered the store.

Shame on me.

I’ve been thinking about that exchange a lot. I still hold my political philosophy, which I’m allowed to do – just as the nice man at Costco, and others, of course, are allowed to do with their beliefs. After all, this is America, and we should be able to differ politically without demonization, name-calling and repulsion of one another as individuals. Or worse.

I had a friend, a political conservative, who used to greet me with a smile and ask how his favorite leftie was doing that day. I usually had a snappy but friendly retort, and we moved on to talk about other things, and sometimes politics. I don’t think that can happen today.

Why and when did we so vehemently embrace rejection and character assassination of our fellow living, breathing souls (unless they’re a member of our particular political tribe)? And, as I have just discovered, how have we come to the place where we/I lost the ability to even have an appreciative exchange of gratitude at the entrance to Costco?

I thought I was above all that, but when the moment came to do the right thing, to embrace (so to speak) my fellow American, I fell short. I didn’t do the very thing I believe in doing.

I’m sorry. Clearly, there’s a lot of work that needs to be done in re-humanizing one another – and I’ve got to start with me.

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Correspondent Stefanie Pettit can be reached at upwindsailor@comcast.net.