Dear Annie 4/26
Dear Annie: I’m thrilled to finally be planning trips with friends again now that we’re all vaccinated and things are opening back up.
Two of my best friends – let’s call them “Molly” and “Bella” – and I rented a vacation house planning to do a long girls weekend.
The three of us haven’t been great about talking on the phone and over Zoom during quarantine, so I’ve been looking forward to catching up and seeing how they’re doing.
But now, Molly is talking about inviting two other friends of hers. Bella and I have only met these other two a handful of times.
They seem fine, but I was really looking forward to hanging out just the three of us. I’ve had some personal things going on in my life that I was hoping to discuss.
And, to be honest, after a year mostly to myself, the idea of being around four other people for a few days straight sounds overwhelming. How do I tell her I’d prefer for it to just be us three on the trip, since we haven’t seen each other in so long? – Five’s a Crowd
Dear FAC: Just like that. There’s no need to make it complicated or personal. Explain to her what you told me: You’d like to keep it to just the three of you for this trip since you have a lot to catch up on. A best friend would never hold that against you.
Dear Annie: I’m in the process of grieving my husband, who died unexpectedly from a heart attack recently. We met at 17 and never left each other’s arms; I fell madly in love with him at first sight. We had 40 years together, a blissful beautiful marriage.
Now that he is gone, my heart aches for him. I’m barely coping. I often have panic attacks and just feel very fearful all the time. My husband was my rock, my protector, my everything. My life seems worthless without him.
My two sons, ages 12 and 14, constantly ask me if I’m OK, and I say yes so they don’t worry. But, honestly, I’m drowning in sorrow.
Do you have any suggestions for online grief counseling? – Totally Broken
Dear Broken: There are no words for me to properly express how sorry I am for your loss.
Psychologytoday.com has a comprehensive database of therapists. You can find a list of therapists in your area. Click the “Issues” filter just above the results, and select “Grief.” Look for therapists who have “Offers online therapy” listed beneath their contact information.
Another online resource I’d recommend is the website Refuge in Grief, which is run by a grief counselor who also lost her husband suddenly. Start at this page: refugeingrief.com/life-gone-sideways.
Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.