Vanna Oh! shares heartbreak over pandemic cancellations

For Lindsay Johnston, aka Vanna Oh! onstage, there was no way 2020 was shaping up to be anything other than a breakout year for the blistering blues-pop singer and self-described queen of rock and roll.

With a strong local footing, the Spokane-born Johnston was set for a 30-stop string of shows stretching from Seattle to Santa Fe when the COVID-19 pandemic rattled the world and live entertainment industry in March.

From that moment on, feeling more broken up than breaking out, Johnston was left to salvage the pieces of her self-composed tour.

“It was such a bummer because playing shows is my favorite part of the entire thing. It’s kind of the payoff, so that was just sad to not be able to get to do the thing that I love,” Johnston said. “I think I was heartbroken and maybe resentful a little bit. There was a lot of anger and disappointment.”

The loss of a West Coast tour six months in the making that included dates in Denver, Phoenix and Los Angeles only stung more for one of the local scene’s most distinctive artists who is instantly associated with the intensity of her live performances as much as her platinum blond bob.

But, in being consistent with her own reputation dating back to her days as one half of female rock duo Donna Donna, Johnston found a way to avoid predictability – even in quarantine. So, what does a rock star do for a living when she’s restricted from the stage?

“I threw myself into something completely opposite and started studying computer programming,” Johnston said. “I think it was like the logical side of my brain took over. If I never get to be on a stage again, what would I do?

“There were just a lot of things to work through and process. Throwing myself into something completely different was maybe a way of avoiding it for a little while.”

Computer programming, which remained an interest of Johnson’s through her music career, now became an essential tool to occupy herself in coping with the temporary loss of live performances.

The typically active Vanna Oh! social media pages also took to a noticeable silence as Johnston became engrossed by an intense schedule of coding classes that left little time to tend to her accounts. As a business move, it was admittedly unnerving to go from posting an average of four times a week for a year to complete silence.

“It was kind of scary. You have to be willing to give up a lot of the things like followers, likes, engagement and metrics that matter in the music business,” Johnston said.

Past the computer screens that dictated her social media score and coding instruction, Johnston fought a very real internal battle in the face of her own personal hardships.

“I was in a very dark place. I struggle with anxiety and depression, and I had not been there for a long time, for years. … I was at my lowest point in a long time,” Johnston said.

In retrospect of that struggle, Johnston summoned the strength to let go of all her initial expectations regarding the tour.

“Letting all of that go was so scary and so hard to do because it was something that I had built and had loved, but now, on the other side of it, I feel happy again. … It wasn’t going to happen without that hardship.”

Moving forward, Johnston is still honing her programming chops while carefully preventing herself from making a rushed return to her artistic craft.

“I’m thinking about it, but I’m trying not to force it. I think in the beginning, I did force it, I tried. I was like, ‘OK, we’re going to make lemonade out of lemons, we’re going to make the best out of this COVID situation and write a bunch of music,’ and I just didn’t have anything to give, I felt.”

Today, Johnston admits that a few new melodies have still managed to catch her attention, saying, “The songs that I like the best, usually I just sing them out loud by myself when I’m washing dishes or doing laundry. Then eventually I’ll put music to them. That has started to happen again, and that’s exciting, but I’m just kind of trying to give it some space and not force it.”

“No matter how much you plan, no matter how much you do the right steps, nothing is guaranteed. There is that luck factor that comes into it. Keeping that in mind really helps shift the focus of why you do what you’re doing.”