Dear Annie 12/24
Dear Annie: Years ago, I read the toilet seat debate in the Ann Landers column. It featured women upset about men leaving the toilet seat up after use and men defensive about it.
My wife and I were married for 45½ years, and she never complained about it, but I thought if such a simple thing might make her more pleased then why not do it. So, I always made sure to put the seat down when I was done using the bathroom. She died a little over a year ago, and I still put the seat down. – Caring in Spokane
Dear Caring: I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m sure your thoughtfulness was something your wife loved about you. Your letter is a reminder to be kind to each other in every way we can, while we can.
Dear Annie: I’ve been in this relationship with a guy for four years. I think I can count on both hands how many times he’s said he loves me. I’ve always questioned his love for me. He barely touches me. If I touch him, he jumps away from me, but when he’s ready to be affectionate, I’m always available to him. The last time we were intimate was many months ago.
Another thing that concerns me: Whenever we have conflict, he always threatens to leave. I told him that I don’t appreciate the threats and that I would do that.
The last time he threatened to leave, I told him to leave and that I would help him pack. So far, he’s stopped with the threats since then.
I’m 49 years old, and I just can’t see myself wasting another year with this type of relationship.
It’s hard and depressing, especially during the pandemic. I feel like he’s a manipulator and needs to go. What should I do? – Feeling Unloved
Dear Feeling Unloved: I don’t think that you need me to tell you what to do. You’re just having trouble actually doing it. My advice: Stop thinking of the last four years as a waste. That mindset may actually paralyze you into staying. Instead, consider that the relationship offered valuable lessons and growth (and, one can hope, some happy memories), but it’s no longer serving you. The sooner you end this, the sooner you’ll be onward and upward.
Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.