Miss Manners: Customer frustrated by noncommunicative businesses

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is voicemail dead? I can understand why friends and family might not leave a message, assuming that when I see their number in my “missed calls” list, I’ll get in touch. But I assumed I’d get a voicemail for anything more formal, and I’ve now been wrong about that twice in a month.

The first time, my computer was at a local shop for repairs. The techs planned to call me with a price quote. Several days went by before I finally called them.

They had my price quote, but they mentioned they’d “tried to call me.” I checked my missed calls, and finally matched them up with a call three days back. (It was not the number I’d expected them to call from.) There was no voicemail. They’d never tried calling again.

Not long afterward, I ordered eyeglasses through a major chain. It was a special order, expected to take several days, but I was told I’d get a call when they were ready. Some time later, wondering if I’d ever get my glasses, I found out history had repeated itself: There was one missed call from the glasses place; no voicemail, no callback.

Am I the one who’s out of touch here, to expect a voicemail, especially from a business? Is it just assumed that when we see a missed call, we’ll call back the number to find out what we missed? Imagine how many telemarketers and robots I’d reach if I called back every unfamiliar number that shows up on my phone! Do I have this wrong?

GENTLE READER: We have so many different ways of communicating nowadays that nobody seems to be able to reach anybody.

Some people don’t use the telephone function of their telephones. Some do not email and some do not text. Many do not write or read paper letters. And now you report businesses that don’t use voicemail.

There are so many possibilities that it might be easier to reach some people by saddling up the horse and running them down.

Miss Manners is afraid that there will have to be notations in address lists, indicating which method to use for whom. You can start by asking these shops what means of communication they prefer, and then use it to pester them until they tell you when your goods are ready.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Approaching the heavy wooden doors of a local university building, my husband and I were a few feet behind a man in a wheelchair who bypassed the door-opening button. My 84-year-old husband said, “I will get the door.”

The man addressed us with profane language, grabbed the door handle, jerked it open, and proceeded down a hall. He then yelled, “Yeah, help the d___ handicapped man.”

We were stunned. Should we not have tried to assist him?

GENTLE READER: Just what the world needs now: more people trying to stamp out the little courtesy that is left.

Opening a door for someone else, for whatever reason – they have their hands full, you got there first – is not an insult. By taking it as such, the person to whom you deferred is only making life more unpleasant for himself and everyone else.