A Grip on Sports: Even an Easter egg hunt would qualify as competition these days

A GRIP ON SPORTS • It is Easter Sunday. Hopefully, you were able to hold the annual egg-finding competition in your front yard. Any type of competition is a good thing.

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• Look, I’m not saying folks are longing to watch sports, but a few of my neighbors gathered in front of the one house with children on the block at dawn. They put their lawn chairs a social-distancing-approved 10 feet apart. They waited for the three kids to emerge through the front door. They cheered. The painted their faces. They made signs. There was a standing ovation when the 3-year-old girl found a light blue egg hidden under the mulberry bush. When the 5-year-old son tripped on a tree root and went down, it was replayed over and over on everyone’s iPhones. (Expect a meme soon.)

Finally, when the baskets were loaded, the eggs all counted, it was determined the 7-year-old eldest daughter had gathered the most. There were cheers and groans – and money changed hands. Yes, my neighbors are gambling degenerates.

OK, that’s all made up. But I’m guessing it happened on some suburban street somewhere in this nation. After all, people have to get their sports fix somewhere. And it isn’t happening on TV.

We were stuck watching a replay of the 2004 Masters yesterday. My buddy texted to tell me he was watching James Worthy play for North Carolina. But live sports? Not a smidgen.

Oh what I wouldn’t give right now for a ninth-inning meltdown by the M’s bullpen. Heck, I wouldn’t even get angry if the game featured 11 consecutive strikeouts – as long as I got to watch it. I’m that desperate.

It’s gotten so bad I’ve lost my head a time or two. And put $20 down on my 5-year-old neighbor – then pressed at the turn. It looks like we’re eating McDonalds again tonight dear.

• No, we won’t. Besides it being Easter, it’s also Kim’s birthday. My plan is to make beef enchiladas out of tri-tip roast that spent yesterday slowly cooking in the crockpot. There may not be baseball games or golf tournaments, but competitive eating is big. At least in my house.

Forget racing out at getting a haircut when the shelter in place orders disappear. I’m headed for liposuction. Maybe I should start a go-fund-me for that. Or not bet on a gangly 5-year-old.

• If you are hungry for Masters coverage, we wrote about it yesterday. And the Associated Press put together this interesting story about the most important shot hit with every club over the years.

It got me to thinking. Maybe golf should drop the numbers and go back to its roots, when every club had a name.

Don’t you think it would be great to hear Jim Nantz argue with Nick Faldo over whether Tiger should hit a mashie or a niblick here? Or Gary McCord – OK, it would be great just to hear McCord’s voice from Augusta once more – wax poetic about the joys of holding a jigger in his hand? Or Peter Kostis wondering how Patrick Reed’s spoon was able to get under the ball from a once-buried lie on 15?

It would add something to the broadcasts, don’t you think?

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Gonzaga: I’m not sure if there is an argument. The Zags have produced the finest pair of point guards, male and female, in college basketball history. On the men’s side is John Stockton, who ended his career as the NBA’s career leader in assists and steals. On the women’s side is Courtney Vandersloot, whose exceptional professional career – she is a WNBA all-star, its all-time assist-per-game leader and was recently named the Russian’s league guard of the year – is ongoing, albeit on hiatus due to the coronavirus pandemic. Dave Trimmer caught up with Vandersloot recently and has this story. … Elsewhere in the WCC, Saint Mary’s looks to be picking up a 7-foot-4 Utah transfer.

WSU: Around the Pac-12, how can colleges recoup lost revenue? We offered an idea a couple weeks ago. Expand the NCAA Tournament by one round next year. But others are advocating an expansion of college football’s playoff. … Where will the West Coast’s most-prized basketball recruit end up? Ziaire Williams will announce today. Maybe Stanford. Maybe Arizona. Maybe USC. … Colorado is being more aggressive in its recruiting. … In football news, the Buffs’ new coach, Karl Dorrell, has had a challenging start. … Washington defensive assistant Ikaika Malloe follows Jim Lambright’s example.

Idaho: Austin Rehkow has been a bit unlucky in his professional career. Last year, the AFL folded underneath the Central Valley High star’s feet. This season, the XFL did the same, a COVID-19 victim. Ryan Collingwood talked with the Vandal great this week and has more in this story. … Elsewhere in the Big Sky, a Portland State transfer guard, who was reportedly on Gonzaga’s radar, is returning home to Phoenix and Arizona State. … Montana State attracted a junior college forward. … Weber State added a Division II scoring champion. … Northern Arizona is looking for assistant coaches. … The odd ending has tainted Southern Utah’s year.

Seahawks: Zoom’s security has been questioned lately, but not because of what a couple of Hawks did. … Food banks are overwhelmed, so Russell Wilson and other Seattle professional athletes are chipping in.

Mariners: When the draft happens, the M’s will be picking based on some out-of-the-ordinary evidence.

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• Yes, it’s Easter. My favorite Easter came many, many years ago. My sister was visiting from California with her husband and young daughter. It snowed. Kim wasn’t deterred though. We were going to have an Easter egg hunt for the three children no matter what. We hid the Easter eggs in the house and held the hunt indoors. But the real hit of the morning came courtesy of Kim’s imagination, some cotton, mud and the front door. On Saturday night, we left out carrots for the Easter bunny. It was my job to gnaw on them with my buck teeth. Kim made bunny footprints in the hall from the door to the carrots. And she shredded a little cotton so it looked as if the bunny’s tail had caught in the door. The next morning our youngest son was so sure the Easter bunny had been injured he started crying. And wouldn’t stop. Another good idea gone bad. Until later …