Deer Park High senior Charity Harris moves beyond difficult family life, focuses on future

Life hasn’t been easy or simple for Deer Park High School senior Charity Harris, who will graduate despite moving out of the family home last fall when she turned 18.

Harris said she acted as a mother to her four younger siblings since she was 12, when her father remarried and brought six stepsiblings into the home. She cooked, cleaned the house, got her siblings up in the morning and helped them with their homework after school.

This made doing her own homework difficult, forcing her to stay up late at night to get it finished.

“My parents were never home,” she said. “I’ve been a parent since I was 12. It just took a huge toll in my life.”

School counselor Andrea Bickley said Harris has been doing well in school despite her other responsibilities. “She continues to strive academically while being displaced from her home,” Bickley said. “She comes to school every day with a positive attitude and outlook on life. She has so much potential.”

Harris said she occasionally got jobs as a babysitter, but usually had to quit because her parents forced her to. “I haven’t been able to keep a job,” she said. “I hated getting a job and then losing a job because of my parents.”

She sometimes didn’t get to keep the money she earned and often lacked necessities, she said.

Her living situation and the responsibility of running the house and taking care of her siblings took a toll on Harris. She developed an anxiety disorder last year that caused her to pass out without warning several times a week. A doctor could find nothing medically wrong and attributed her episodes to stress, she said. The problem lasted for months.

Harris said that after she turned 18 in November, her boyfriend encouraged her to move out. She did, without telling her father and stepmother. She’s now living with her boyfriend and his grandparents. She and her boyfriend have been friends since they were little, and she knows his family well.

“My boyfriend’s family loves me so much it’s crazy,” she said. “They’ve loved me since I was little.”

Since moving out, Harris’ health has improved. “Ever since I left my parents’ house, I haven’t passed out,” she said.

But the move was not entirely smooth. Harris said her father and stepmother were not happy she left and have been spreading false rumors about her on social media. They turned off her cellphone and cut off contact. “I can’t talk to my siblings since I left,” she said.

Despite how she was treated, Harris has held her head up.

“I don’t hate my parents,” she said. “I got more hate than love from them, it felt like. I always knew I was the odd person out.”

Harris said she’s glad she moved out when she did. “I love my parents, but I couldn’t deal with it anymore,” she said. “I shouldn’t have to go to bed crying every night. I shouldn’t have to miss out on friends.”

Leaving was painful, however, because Harris no longer has contact with her half-sister. “I taught her how to talk, I taught her how to walk,” she said.

Her experiences at home weren’t all bad, however. Harris said knowing how to cook, clean and run a household are valuable skills. “I’m just an organized person,” she said.

Now she is trying to focus on her future, though Harris doesn’t know what she wants to do yet. She enjoyed taking a floral class and has thought about becoming a hairdresser. But her immediate goal is to find a job so she and her boyfriend can save up money to get their own place to live.

Harris said she doesn’t hold any grudges toward her parents.

“It happened in the past, and I’m moving forward,” she said. “Everything gets better. Everything happens for a reason.”