Gifted with good deals

Dear Annie: With the upcoming gift season, I have a question regarding dollar limits set by clubs.

Say an amount is set at $10. Does that mean the gift value or the dollar amount spent? Recently, I had a coupon that allowed me to purchase $24 candles for $9.50. My friend said I should not give them at a $10-limit party because I would make other gifts look cheap. What should I do? – Anxious in Florida

Dear Anxious: Would your friend like to bring in appraisers to inspect every gift and ensure compliance? The fact is that it’s silly to try to stringently regulate the value of gifts in an exchange. As long as you’re respecting the spending limit, you’re fine. Happy gifting.

Dear Annie: This is in response to “A Very Grateful Mom” and your answer to her.

Ten years ago, my 15-year-old son was hit by a car. He died three days later. His father and I decided to donate his organs to see something positive come out of this tragedy.

I received cards and letters from some of the recipients. The woman who received my son’s heart thanked us and let us know she would now be able to see her own son get married. At that point, I wanted to just crawl into my son’s grave and die. I have never answered that woman, and I do not plan to. She must have forgotten that someone had died for her to live on. It was also a painful reminder that I would never see my own son get married.

I am appalled that “A Very Grateful Mom” was more or less complaining that the donor family had not contacted her. She should remember that in order for her own daughter not to have had to walk through death’s door, someone else’s child did. – Grieving Mom

Dear Grieving Mom: I am so incredibly sorry for the loss of your son. Your letter brought me to tears.

“A Very Grateful Mom” was not complaining that no one in the organ donor’s family had reached out; she just said that she hopes one day someone will so that she can properly thank the family. Your letter helps illuminate why that may not happen. Thank you for the insight.