The Slice: They say age is just a state of mind

A group of sixth-graders was touring the S-R the other day. And as the newsroom’s oldest staffer, I thought it would be fun to see if the kids could surmise my age.

Here, in order, were their guesses: 70 or 71, 75, 68, 69, 70, 74, 70, 64, 51, 60 to 70. The final contestant, a retired teacher named Sharon accompanying the boys and girls, correctly guessed that I am 62. She won a coveted reporter’s notebook.

A newsroom colleague suggested I might have skewed the kids’ conjecture by emphasizing beforehand my Methuselah status at the paper. She also noted that her own daughter, one of the sixth-graders, guessed I was 70 because she reasoned I would be the same age as her grandparents.

I’ve met that child’s grandparents. I like them. So I take that as a compliment.

But it makes me wonder. What really does it take to be a grandparent?

I’ll give you 10 choices. You can decide.

1. A checkbook.

2. An agreement with the grandchild that, when it comes to certain junk food indulgences, what happens at grandpa’s house stays at grandpa’s house.

3. Agreeing with the grandchild that the music the kid’s parents listen to is absolutely the worst.

4. A willingness to practice effective aversion therapy by letting the grandchild take a sip of whatever you’re drinking.

5. Occasionally trotting out classic lines such as “I’ll give you something to cry about” that always make the grandchildren giggle.

6. An ability to keep a straight face when saying, “We didn’t have smartphones and apps when I was a kid, we just had stuff like people walking on the moon.”

7. Being able to say, “Well, ahem, I knew your mother back before she had all the answers.”

8. A willingness to let your granddaughter have the comics when you are looking at the paper while having breakfast.

9. Rugged good looks.

10. A willingness to leave politics out of it.

Slice answer: Gisela Dalke saw the question about seeing something on TV that inspired a desire for a certain food. “I don’t eat hot dogs regularly, but a few years ago I watched one of those traveling TV chefs. He visited places like New Jersey and New York, looking for the best hot dogs. Oh, my! The cravings started immediately.”

Today’s Slice question: Has getting to know your little grandchild’s diverse array of friends altered your world view?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. How does it sound when you insert your last name before the words “crime family”?