House Call: Thriving with holiday stress

The holidays are upon us and for many of us that means parties, pot lucks, cookie exchanges, getting together with your family, and more. There’s always a mix of things that you love to do and things that you feel like you must do. Family time can be loving and supporting and/or it can bring up weird and stressful feelings. The holidays can cause feelings of isolation, longing for a loved one who is no longer with us, anxiety about money, and worry about bad weather. It’s OK and normal to have conflicting feelings this time of year.

Stress affects everyone differently. You may cry, be short-tempered, say hurtful things, drive aggressively, drink too much alcohol or caffeine, eat too much holiday comfort food, miss deadlines or obligations. You might also experience stress physically in the form of headaches, upset stomach, difficulty concentrating and sleepless nights.

Sometimes, just acknowledging that you are stressed can help reduce your reaction. Other times, more active measures are needed. There are a variety of ways to manage, reduce and deal with the consequences of holiday stress.

First, figure out what could be a cause of stress if you are not sure. Money is a big source of tension during the holidays. Other sources include unmet expectations, lack of time, and feeling out of control. Once you learn to recognize what is making you feel stressed you can figure out the best way to minimize the effect it has on you.

Learning to manage your time can help you have more time and feel more in control of your schedule. Whatever the holiday invitation or other commitment, sit yourself down and make sure it’s what you really want to do. Don’t commit just to please others or be afraid to ask for assistance. It’s OK to say, “No, I’m afraid I can’t do that,” politely and firmly. It’s OK to ask for help. For instance, if you get asked to make the food for the holiday party, ask to split the duties between you and others.

Taking a different approach to commitments, like potlucks or cookie exchanges, can also help relieve holiday stress. Even though you might be famous for the peanut butter balls or pumpkin pie you make every year, it’s OK to make or bring something else that takes less time and is still tasty. This may be the year to make no-bake cookies or bring a fruit platter from the grocery store.

Set reasonable expectations for the holidays. Trying to orchestrate the perfect holiday can be costly in terms of money, time and energy spent; all things that can cause stress. Plan for a less perfect result that will still satisfy you.

Exercising, talking, laughing, crying, praying, meditation, writing, doing an activity you enjoy – any of these can help relieve the physical and emotional strain of these situational stresses. I find that going out for a run or a walk helps a lot. Find the things that feed your soul and make them a priority. Recognize and name the stresses in your life, figure out what relief techniques work best for you and routinely plan time for them in your holiday schedule. It can make a world of difference in how happy your holidays turn out to be.

If your efforts to manage your holiday stress (or any other stress) aren’t working, talk to your medical provider, a counselor, or a friend and make a plan to find ways to deal with your stressors that help you move forward. You’re worth it.