The Slice: Now the truth can be told

I’ll send a coveted reporter’s notebook to the reader who concocts the best brief conspiracy theory involving chemtrails and leaf raking or chemtrails and jack-o’-lanterns or chemtrails and Daylight Saving Time.

Let’s move on.

One word that explains why you quit coaching youth sports teams: “Parents,” Chuck Young said.

Just wondering: Do you still get your hopes up about being able to build a backyard ice rink or have you pretty much given up?

This date in Slice history (1997): Today’s Slice question: How many people around here work for businesses where turnover is so high long-timers don’t bother introducing themselves to new staffers anymore?

Slice answers: “I have bobbed for apples,” wrote Nola Barrett. “Like almost all seemingly lighthearted party games, this one requires laser-like focus and an extreme disregard for appearances. The first time I really understood this, I plunged my entire head underwater, grabbed an apple, reared back on my heels and shook myself like a dog on a beach. Everyone else jumped away from the spray, which gave me time to snatch two more apples using the same technique. I won, but it took a week to get the water out of my ear.”

Dennis DeMattia also weighed in.

“I only did it once. I was just a few years out of college, and at that time if I had to wear a tie, like to a party, it was a (fake) bow tie. Which did not make my bobbing career a very long one. Think about sticking your muzzle into a bucket of water, trying to open your gums wide enough to grab a pippin, and you have this blasted bow tie digging away at your jaw and throat. Not only are you drowning, but you are being asphyxiated as well.”

Jerry Hilton said his Kiwanis club would hang apples from a string. “More sanitary.”

Number of times The Slice has mentioned “Rocktober” over the years: 13.

Today’s Slice question: When you step outside and find yourself face-to-face with a large skunk, what’s the best thing to say to the black and white animal?

A) “Hello.” B) “Don’t you love Spokane at this time of year?” C) “Did it bug you that Pepe LePew never seemed to get that ‘No’ means ‘No’?” D) “I surrender.” E) “Are you here to see Ringo? I think she’s still having her cereal. I’ll go back in and check.” F) “What do you say we hammer out some peace accords?” G) Other.

Write The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. Exactly a dozen weeks until Christmas.