The Slice: Head games, it’s you and me, baby

Occasionally, when I am out riding my bike, parents spot me and point out to their young children that I am wearing a helmet.

The kids mostly just listen in silence. But I know what they are thinking.

1) “Yeah, well, what does he know?”

2) “Bet he didn’t wear one when he was my age.”

3) “I prefer to choose my own role models, thank you.”

Number of times since May of 1995 The Slice has referred to a local 3-year-old girl’s invention of the phrase “St. Mother’s Day”: Six. Oh, wait. This makes seven.

Ideas for garden signs: “Trespassers will be composted.” – Joni Cordell

“Weeders Welcomed.” – Trudy Zaborski

“Stop and smell the roses.” – Charlotte Lamp

“Plant love/Grow wisdom/Reap joy.” – Barbara St. Dennis

“Feel free to pull as many weeds as you’d like.” – Susan Johnson

And Sharon Saito said her grandchildren actually did make a sign for her garden. It says “Grandma’s slug farm.”

Have gastropods been an issue? “My raised bed garden is made from landscape bricks and the soil is sandy – perfect for slugs. They like everything I try to grow.”

Amy Mickelson wonders: “Does someone use a metal detector on the material the street sweepers pick up, looking for loose change? It could add up.”

The reason you have watery eyes: A) Pollen explosion. B) Recent personal loss. C) You just finished watching a movie that always gets to you. D) You just heard a song you’ll always associate with someone who is gone. E) You are enjoying some peppers so hot they are also making you hallucinate. F) Other.

Slice answer: “No, I have never put my phone in the freezer,” wrote Shirley Drury. “But I hate to admit how many times I have tried to use my phone to change the station on the TV. Doesn’t work.”

Re: Singing in the car: “Loud and proud, I say,” wrote Kathy Hickman. “Once had a guy pull up beside me, put his window down, and ask what station I was listening to. He said I was having way more fun at 7 a.m. than he was.”

Warm-up question: How many of your spouse’s buzzard-like old boyfriends or girlfriends actively monitor the health and status of your marriage?

Today’s Slice question: What was the name of the horse that won the 1889 Kentucky Derby?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. Several readers suggested that if “The Graduate” were remade today, the word “plastics” would be replaced with “marijuana.”