The Slice: Mistakes were made

Autumn starts in 10 days, for those keeping score at home.

So perhaps this is the perfect occasion to list the Top 10 minor regrets from the summer of 2016. You know, while there’s still time to make amends or at least vow not to repeat your mistakes next year.

OK, on with the countdown.

10. Now that cooler heads have prevailed, it’s clear to all that chest-bumping an umpire at T-ball was not the most diplomatic move.

9. Everyone now agrees it was unfortunate that your neighborhood association’s attempt to name the 100 Best Summer Songs came to blows. But you’re right, Spirit’s “I Got a Line on You” should have made the cut.

8. Taking your glove to the baseball game was a fine first step. But the subsequent knot on your head showed that you forgot the crucial follow-up – actually paying attention.

7. So maybe it wasn’t a good idea to leave your eyeglasses on the kitchen counter and then start horsing around with the neighbor’s cat out in in the backyard (before realizing it was actually a skunk).

6. How could you have possibly known that a flat stone you were skipping from shore would bounce off the water 23 times and then hit a lake neighbor’s brand new boat.

5. Just keep reminding yourself: Taking up bicycle riding again this summer after all those years isn’t really what led to the need for prostate surgery.

4. Yes, looking back, it now seems clear that you should have packed up and moved on when the lager fans/Second Amendment scholars at the next campsite started woo-hooing and firing gunshots into the air.

3. Your boss really should have known you were talking about flip-flop footwear when you were making fun of thongs. The fact that she thought you were mocking her daughter’s swimsuit suggests a certain defensiveness on her part.

2. The alleged “mutiny” on your brother-in-law’s boat was really a way overblown misunderstanding and the less said about it the better.

1. Even if you discount the particular sensitivities within your multicultural hiking group, repeatedly referring to that one walk in the woods as “The Bataan Death March” was ill-advised.

So there you go. Here’s to a wonderful fall.

Today’s Slice question: Why has bobbing for apples become less of a thing in recent years?

A) It’s kind of gross. B) Party hosts requiring vaccination records. C) It’s hard and today’s youth can’t handle frustration. D) Other.

Write The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. How does your cat look at you when you eat tuna?