John Blanchette: Empire kicking woes nothing a quick rule change couldn’t fix

Whatever your take on the merits of indoor football – the kind played here relative to the kind that used to be played here, or even to outdoor football – you have to admire the bold pioneering spirit of the Spokane Empire in challenging the very foundation of the game.

You see, they tried to make the field goal extinct.

And then Pat Clarke came along to save it.

Or ruin the revolution, depending on your point of view.

You may have missed this bulletin, as it was the most underreported sports news of the Memorial Day weekend, but in a 55-44 road victory over the Colorado Crush, the Empire connected on their first three-pointer of an Indoor Football League season now 15 weeks old.

It happened a scant three minutes into the game. The Empire threw three straight incomplete passes to open the festivities at BEC Arena and coach Adam Shackleford didn’t hesitate to run out his kicker.

It’s a wonder medical personnel didn’t run in Shack for a few tests.

The coach had burned through five other placekickers – one of them twice – to arrive at Clarke, and all 13 of their field goal attempts had either sailed wide or been smothered, to say nothing of a third of the Empire’s PAT kicks. Why court further futility?

Nonetheless, Clarke – straight from the plane flight without a single practice – stepped up and confidently banged the ball through the uprights, 49 yards away. OK, so he would miss a short one later, and the Empire would botch some PATs. Progress is progress.

“I can get some sleep at night now,” sighed Shack.

The irony is that Clarke is the kicker he wanted all along – and signed way back in September. But shortly before the season, the University of Buffalo grad “felt something pop” in his kicking leg near the end of a workout. He had torn the fascia in his thigh, was immediately put on the club’s injured reserve list.

And the revolving door was set a-spin.

Dan Kleckner, once Mead High School’s kicker who had IFL experience, was a handy fill-in. Soon the Empire would bring in AFL refugee Taylor Russolino, followed by Brady Beeson, Kyle Brotzman and Steven Wakefield – who began the season in Tri-Cities and actually kicked two field goals against Spokane in the season opener.

He lasted an Empire record five games, but missed all four field goal attempts – and was 0-of-2 on PATs in a loss to Sioux Falls that had Shack back on the horn to Beeson.

There’s been more turnover in Spokane at kicker than in the mayor’s administration.

“It wasn’t even always the lack of success, it was availability,” Shackleford said. “We liked Russolino, but he couldn’t be here. Brotzman was a one-day thing – he works full time – and we knew that. Wakefield, he wasn’t doing the job. Beeson got hurt again.”

So Shack’s next call was to IFL commissioner Michael Allshouse – to lobby. Rules required a player on IR to either be activated after six weeks, or remain on it for the season. Clarke had missed that deadline, and Shackleford – and a few other franchises – felt it too restrictive, and pushed for one exemption.

“I won’t deny the fact that I fought for it,” he said. “Actually, I made up the new rule.”

So back came Clarke, who couldn’t have fathomed that he was so irreplaceable.

“I was following the games and I was getting frustrated just because I wanted to be out here,” he said at practice Tuesday.

No more frustrated than patrons at Spokane Arena weary of every PAT being a crapshoot and every field goal snake eyes. Yes, indoor uprights are just 10 feet apart – it’s 18 1/2 in the NFL and college – but that doesn’t make the fan more forgiving. Back in the old Shock’s debut season, boos rained down on Jon Koker so loudly after three missed PATs that management tried to quell the mob by announcing that he had a sprained ankle.

Pity? There’s no pity in football.

Because everybody thinks they can kick a field goal. Having contests between quarters where spectators occasionally do only encourages the delusions.

I know. In my youth, I auditioned for legendary Dallas Cowboys superscout Gil Brandt, whose talent hunts would take him through various jerkwater towns. This being the heyday of non-athletic kickers like Garo Yepremian and the Cowboys’ own Toni Fritsch, I figured to sign a contract merely on the strength of falling down twice during the agility drill. But Brandt insisted I kick, too.

So I laced up a Depression-era cross country skiing boot I’d found at a garage sale and, with Brandt holding, toe-punched a couple through from 40 yards.

“He’s already better than Fritsch,” said Brandt’s aide, Bob Griffin.

OK, it’s possible he said, “He’s already fatter than Fritsch.” But I know what I heard.

NFL kicks have become so automatic that blood-and-guts football fans holler for reform – or complete elimination. So the IFL’s success rate – just 37 percent on field goals, 76 on PATs – should be welcome intrigue. And it is – until the home team’s kicker misses.

“It’s the one position on the field where everybody can tell if you had a bad game or a good game,” Clarke said. “That makes it so open to criticism. It’s black and white.”

No kidding. Consider this assessment from Tuesday’s practice, overheard as Clarke got in some reps: “Kicking has to be the easiest job.”

Funny. If anyone should know better, it’s the Empire.