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The Slice: Jam up and jelly tight
It’s not really summer until you have encountered a preschooler whose face is smeared with jelly.
A graphic depiction of that would be right at home on the official seal of Spokane.
Oh sure, it’s not strictly a seasonal circumstance. But with the warmer weather, the jelly face kids are out and about.
You might encounter them at a backyard cookout. Or they could appear at the front door while you are on a neighbor’s porch.
“You are a mess,” you might inform them in a cheerful way.
Do they care? They do not.
Yes, of course, parents do their best to keep these smooth young faces clean. They wipe them down multiple times a day, including after the kids have mauled a PB&J.
But sometimes the jelly face kids get up and go on a free-range walkabout. Often, that’s when you’ll see them. They will look up at you with their sticky lips and glistening cheeks. And their expressions form a question.
“What?”
Jelly face is a close cousin of the somewhat more insidious jelly hands, the bane of plush toys and cats.
Children with jelly hands like to handle all manner of objects and then quietly walk away, leaving in their wake a path of surreptitious adhesion waiting to be discovered.
Jelly is not their only medium. These kids also work in a variety of melon juices, melted candies and epoxy-like beverages.
All of which is simply a roundabout way of saying those inflatable wading pools can be a handy thing to have in your backyard.
Today’s Slice question: What’s your sign of the season?
A) Swimmer’s itch. B) Your farmer tan. C) Birds obviously waiting for you to put the top down on the convertible.
D) Getting hit on the kneecap by a knuckleball that actually dipped during a game of catch. E) Arguing about the temperature of lake water. F) Your spouse making a face while reading the list of ingredients in a bag of marshmallows.
G) The way your legs look in shorts. H) Trying to read the mind of a squirrel watching you rig up a hammock. I) Hearing your neighbor from Minnesota talk about how great it is that we can go outside at night here without being drained of much of our blood.
J) Your “new you” haircut. K) Agreeing that, yes, it’s a dry heat. L) Other.
Write The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. It’s too bad more people don’t understand that poodles are good dogs.