Miss Manners: Save-the-date birth card not sure bet

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I received a postcard announcing the upcoming birth of a baby, four months into the future. The card was similar to a “save the date” for a wedding.

Having never received one of these cards, I’m unsure how I’m to respond or if I need to. Am I to send more than congratulations? Am I to send a gift? Is this the newest trend in “save the date” cards?

GENTLE READER: Let us hope not. What exactly would you be saving the date to do? Congratulate the parents, and then listen to them burst into tears because the time was up and nothing had yet happened?

It strikes Miss Manners that these prospective parents are amazingly ignorant of the ways of babies. They are in for a shock when they discover that babies have their own agendas.

And even if they have scheduled an inducement, it would hardly be the day they would want to field calls and texts. Despite the ridiculous card, the tactful thing for you to do would be nothing until you receive a birth announcement.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My brother just canceled his wedding less than three weeks prior to the event.

As we begin to discuss dealing with the aftermath, I wonder what the proper way of notifying guests would be.

How much information does one divulge? If this type of thing requires a phone call, can a family member help make calls? How does one best respond to the inevitable question of “Why?”

GENTLE READER: There is a form for such an announcement (“Mr. and Mrs. Parents /announce the marriage of their daughter/Olivia Zoe/to Mr. Humphrey Joshua Whittleby/ will not take place”), but three weeks is a short time for people to cancel travel plans.

So yes,the family should use devices to get in immediate touch with those invited. Whether that would be by telephone or by email should depend on how you can be sure of reaching them.

The explanation for all should be the same: the couple canceled the wedding by mutual consent.

This should be the only statement repeated to those who ask. There will be enough gossip without the family’s adding to it.