Ammi Midstokke: Enjoying the now starts by unwrapping the gift of today
I don’t have a lot of regrets in life. There was that time I cut pictures out of the library’s David Bowie book, a college boyfriend or two that did not contribute to my personal growth, and at least one gas station burrito.
Other than that, and a four-year period of my life in my twenties spent wallowing in self-pity, I’ve been blessedly spared of regrets. Mind you, regrets are not the same as poor decisions, because I still make those on a regular basis – though they no longer involve gas station cuisine or frat boys.
Sitting in my office this week I was listening to a client talk about when his life was going to get started. There was a lot of stuff that needed to happen before he could go out and live it. Until then, he was going to wake up, go to work (maybe stop for an egg sandwich along the way), stare at a computer screen, go home relatively exhausted, eat and watch another screen, then go to bed to start it over again.
In a few months, when work was less demanding, or in a few years when he had earned enough money, or perhaps by retirement if he lives that long, he would really start living.
In the mean time, he had bought a bike for peace of mind so it would be there when he was ready. I only hoped it would be before his bike or his body were antiquated.
Here is a little piece of advice: Ride your bike. Today.
Take a walk. Today. Buy a boat today. Wake up your partner for morning delight today. Leave work early. Laugh with your children. Go outside. Take care of your body. Turn off the box. Put down the phone. And live.
Just after that client, I received news that another client had passed away. Cancer, quick and aggressive, had taken her in just four months. This was a woman who had spent every session telling me about everything she would do when she could start living. Work was demanding. Pie sang its siren song to her. She would go to her doctor after she lost a little weight. But the cancer came before that.
Life is happening right now. It might not be happening tomorrow. But if you are reading this, you are breathing and able and you better be planning to neglect some ‘obligations’ to do something reckless or fulfilling before sundown.
We spend so much time designing and planning our mythical future lives that we forget to live the one we are in. We are thinking about where to go to school and how to develop our careers and feed our babies and pay our mortgages. We surround our commitments with a shroud of guilt that keeps us from prioritizing ourselves or having fun.
But we can design a different life. Take that five-year, 10-year, 20-year plan and shorten it to the span of a day. Live that every day.
Wake up, celebrate something, take care of yourself, be productive, spend some time working toward your goals, play, ride your bike, share time with those you love. Every. Day.
Because anything less is to deny the gift. The reward is not next year or your next promotion. It is not retirement or heaven. It is now, in the relationships you foster and the memories you make every day. That is what creates a rich and full life. Go fill yours.