The Slice: And over here is where the bodies are buried

An in-house call went out for S-R employees who might want to volunteer to be tour guides here at the newspaper.

“Training and a script will be provided,” the email said.

I’m sure the “script” will hit on the highlights of producing a daily newspaper. But, if I’m not too late, I would like to mention a few questions people taking the tour are apt to ask.

Do reporters still have flasks of whiskey in their desks? (No.)

Is selling ads like selling real estate in “Glengarry Glen Ross”? (Yes.)

Who gets to yell “Stop the presses!”? (J. Jonah Jameson.)

Is Johnny Deadline a real person? (Yes, he works in Sports.)

Do the rooftop gargoyles have names? (Ask ’em yourself.)

Do the editors smoke marijuana? (Why? Do you smell something?)

Are there dead rats here, like in the movie “Spotlight”? (Why? Do you smell something?)

Are reporter’s notebooks really coveted? (Yes.)

Making mistakes at work: “In the late 60s I worked for The Spokesman-Review/Chronicle papers in the classified department,” wrote Bonnie West. “I was not hired as an ad taker but as a statistician. However, when things got busy I was called upon to help out with ads. Not sure that was a wise decision.”

One day a woman called about selling her “Fast” sewing machine. At least that’s how Bonnie heard it.

Makes sense, right?

After the ad appeared that woman called back. “She was not happy in the least.”

Turns out if was a “Pfaff” sewing machine, not “Fast.”

Another time a real estate agent called and Bonnie took an ad for a house for sale. A rec room was one of the selling points.

But Bonnie had grown up in the country. She knew nothing about rec rooms. She thought that might be akin to a mud room. So she entered the ad with “wreck room.”

“Wrong again, and again it made it through proofing and composing.”

Oh, well.

“I will always be thankful for such a great and understanding boss, Mr. Troyer, and an understanding assistant manager, Mr. Nelson.”

Sometimes all you can do is smile.

“I often wonder if the people in proofing and composing really missed those mistakes or were laughing so hard they just couldn’t bring themselves to fix them.”

Today’s Slice question: What is your bear-avoidance strategy?

Write The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. Spokane is mentioned in the episode of “The Andy Griffith Show” that features the first appearance of the musical mountain family, the Darlings.