Annie’s Mailbox: Mom, 74, wants to marry con man

Dear Annie: My recently widowed 74-year-old mother is now dating. She met “Paul” less than a year ago and is already talking about marrying him. Paul has been married several times, hasn’t held a steady job in more than 30 years and lives with his 97-year-old mother.

Mom is naive, lonely and desperate. She has already spent close to $10,000 on this man since she met him. Everyone in my family sees Paul for the con man he is, but I am the only one who strongly vocalizes my feelings. Family functions are now very awkward, and I have stopped attending all events where Paul is present.

Needless to say, my relationship with my mother is strained. I am worried that she is going to be bankrupt, both financially and emotionally. I don’t want to alienate her, but I cannot pretend that I am OK with her marrying this lowlife. What can I do? – California

Dear California: Very little. Please stop fighting with Mom about Paul. The more you attack him the more she will defend him. Instead, tell her you love her and want to be sure she is protected financially. Say that you understand how much she cares for Paul, and that you will stop objecting to the marriage if she will first go with you to speak to a lawyer. She also should get a prenup. And if she does these things, please keep your word and accept Paul to the best of your ability. We hope things turn out better than you believe they will.