Retired doctor pried about my health at party

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was at a party where a retired physician started asking me questions about whether or not I had had various medical tests.

I know that the tests she asked about are recommended for women of my age, but I also believe that this is a conversation for me to have with my own physician. She might well be asking out of a genuine desire to share her medical wisdom, but I found it rude to be interrogated by a stranger in a social situation. How could I have handled this without being disrespectful?

GENTLE READER: Resist the temptation to ask if the state medical board knows she is still practicing medicine – and at parties, where it is presumably impossible to protect a patient’s legal right to privacy. Instead, Miss Manners suggests you thank her for her interest and explain that being a physician herself, she will understand that you discuss medical problems only with your own doctor.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it appropriate to text-message the words “I love you” to a woman when you are declaring it for the first time?

GENTLE READER: Are you concerned that her reaction will not be what you hope?

Otherwise, Miss Manners cannot understand why you would not wish to convey this information in person, knowing you might receive a response that is not limited to alphanumeric characters.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Which is more rude? To look at a text while engaged in an important conservation? Or to leave the text until the conversation is done?

GENTLE READER: The former. It is more difficult to convince people who are right in front of you that you don’t see them than it is to have failed to see a text message the instant it was sent.