Mom should explain limits with own son

Dear Annie: My lifelong friend “Georgia” has a 7-year-old son who frequently plays with my 6-year-old. Georgia and her husband are divorced and share custody. The problem is, I fear her son is being exposed to things that are not appropriate for his age. He plays adult video games, and both parents allow him to watch frightening, sexually suggestive adult TV shows. The boy has made several inappropriate comments and gestures to me. The father doesn’t seem to notice.

I do not want my son exposed to any of this. But I also want to help Georgia’s son, as I feel this could have damaging long-term effects. My son adores this boy and gets upset when I try to discourage interaction between them. Georgia lives nearby, and when her son is at her house, it is difficult to keep them apart. Any advice? – Growing Up Way Too Fast

Dear Growing: Some single parents are so overwhelmed with parenting responsibilities and guilt about the separation that they set no boundaries for their children. They think this makes the child happy, but in reality, it undermines the child’s level of security – if Mommy and Daddy don’t care what he does, does that mean they don’t love him?

Please talk to Georgia. Tell her that these things are inappropriate for her son and it makes it difficult for you to allow him to play with your child. But ultimately, you cannot control what Georgia does. You can only explain to your son that these things will not be tolerated by you. Do not let him go to Georgia’s home without your supervision. When the children are with you, make sure they are not playing R-rated video games or watching adult programming. And limit contact when you can.