The Slice: ‘Spokane man’ keeps getting in trouble

So let’s check in on our old pal “Spokane man” one more time before the end of 2015.

What has he been up to in recent months? The best way to find out is to search The Spokesman-Review’s computerized archives, zeroing in on appearances of “Spokane man.”

Well, it didn’t look good for him after he was said to be “in serious condition after he was shot multiple times.”

It’s bad when that happens. Leaves a mark.

And things were not looking up when we read that he “faces a charge of possessing stolen property after police found a power generator mailed to a South Hill resident in his back seat.”

The news did not get better. He was again facing charges “after allegedly attacking his neighbor with a sword.”

And he “admitted to possessing child pornography.”

Hate to say it. But the guy would appear to be bad news.

How about “Spokane woman”? Is she any better?

In a word, yes. S-R readers learned that she was “competing in the Food Network’s Halloween Baking Championship.”

You go, girl.

What about “Idaho man”? What has this role model been up to?

Well, you might recall when a headline reported that he “admits murder for hire plot.”

At least he admitted it. That’s something.

Of course, he also was “cited for killing grizzly.” So some of us suggested extremely harsh punishment.

Good grief. Killing a grizzly. What else?

He “escaped the Payette County Jail and then taunted pursuers on social media.”

Perhaps you can guess who got the last laugh.

And let’s not forget that he was “accused of stabbing an Alaska man in the North Dakota oil patch.”

Perhaps “North Dakota oil patch” is a euphemism for a sensitive body part.

You know. “Where did he get you?”

“He got me in the North Dakota oil patch.”

Let’s move on to the tales of “Idaho woman.”

Turns out, she had her own troubles.

We read she “faces charges after authorities say she beat a hunter’s falcon to death.”

On another day, a headline informed us she had been “Jailed in hatchet killing.”

Sort of makes you shake your head, doesn’t it? Maybe 2016 will be better for all concerned.

Might be nice to read “Spokane man spends quiet evening at home.”

Boring. But nice.

Today’s Slice question: What headline do you hope to see in the S-R next year?

Write The Slice at P .O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. Are you good at giving a toast?