Annie’s Mailbox: Daughter thinks mom’s beau wants money

Dear Annie: I am a widow in my mid-70s and am comfortably well off. A year after my husband’s death, I moved to an apartment in a smaller city in order to be closer to my daughter’s family. However, they have their own lives and rarely include me in anything except holiday dinners. None of the fun things I envisioned doing with my grandchildren has happened, and I don’t have any old friends in the new city.

I did meet a widower, “Jim,” at a church social. We share a lot of common interests and enjoy going out to dinner and movies together. The only downside is that Jim lives entirely on his Social Security check, so I always pay my own way on our “dates.” My daughter says Jim is after my money, which may be true, but then sometimes I think she is, too. She’s always asking how much money is in the grandchildren’s college funds and whether I am dipping into it to pay my expenses.

Jim and I are thinking of taking a Mediterranean cruise in which we would share a cabin and I would pay for 75 percent of the combined cost, based on the fact that my yearly income is three times his.

My daughter is livid. I say it’s my money and my business. I don’t want to alienate her. What’s your advice? – Sugar Momma

Dear Momma: Your daughter needs reassurance that Mom is not being taken advantage of and that you aren’t spending all of your money on some guy. If you have promised money to the kids’ college funds, reassure her that you won’t use the money to splurge on Jim.

But also tell her that you are too young to sit at home. Surely she wants you to be happy in a way that doesn’t require her to provide your entertainment. If she hasn’t met Jim, please introduce them so she can see what a good companion he is for you. We also recommend you try to meet some female friends, because your entire social life shouldn’t be dependent on one man.