Annie’s Mailbox: Try patience with overweight husband

Dear Annie: My husband and I have been married for 10 years. We have no children.

My biggest problem is his weight. He has put on a lot of poundage in the past several years and is definitely not the guy I married. I don’t claim to be a princess, but I stay pretty fit. I am not attracted to him sexually because of his rolls of fat. I am saddened.

We love each other dearly, but my husband refuses to take walks with me and will not help around the house. I know I should love him with my heart, so how do I get around this problem? – California Dreamin’

Dear California: You cannot force your husband to do anything about his weight. He must want to do it for himself. Tell him you are worried about his health. Ask him to talk to his doctor about his weight (or leave a message for the doctor with your concerns). Explain that his unwillingness to help around the house or work on his weight is undermining your respect for him. Beyond that, please be patient. Try to love him as he is, for all of the other qualities he brings to the marriage and for the things that attracted you to him in the first place.

Dear Annie: My fiance and I are getting married in a few months. This will be the second marriage for both of us. We have decided to have a small private ceremony for our immediate family, with an open house for other family and friends. We are sending out invitations for our open house, but I am unsure whether I should register for gifts. What do you think would be the best way to handle this? Gifts are nice, but not necessary. – Bride-to-Be

Dear Bride: People will want to buy you a wedding present, and a registry helps them know what you want. It’s perfectly OK to register. However, it is not appropriate to put this information in the invitation. If someone should ask, you may tell them where you are registered.