Let sleeper have the view of sheets

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have created a gentle and cordial debate about the use of top sheets: When patterned sheets are used, does the print go face up or down? Since it usually gets covered by a blanket or bedspread, it is not seen. If it gets folded back in front of the pillows, it is usually the hem that shows, and most of the time the sheet and blanket are covered by the pillows and then the spread.

Some say down, so when you are under it you see the print. Why is that important when you’re asleep?

GENTLE READER: Do you mean to say that you are able to sleep while displaying the wrong side of the sheet over your blanket cover?

Miss Manners refers you to the cartoon by dear James Thurber, in which a hapless little man wearing a polka-dot pajama top and striped bottoms stands in front of the marital bed, from which his ferocious wife is saying, “Well, it makes a difference to me!”

To ensure a peaceful night for the finicky, a patterned or monogrammed sheet is put face down so that the right side is both toward the sleeper and face up when folded over the other bedclothes.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: While out to dinner with my girlfriend and her husband, she remarked that she was cold and wished she had brought a jacket. I informed her that I had one in my car and she was welcome to use it.

Who should get the jacket from the car? I told her she could get the jacket since she wanted it – she said basically that she has done so much for me that it was rude that I expected her to get it herself.

Actual solution: Her husband got the jacket. What is the proper etiquette?

GENTLE READER: Consideration and politeness seem to go only so far in your little group. You offered your jacket but expected to send her out into the cold, coatless, to fetch it. She accepted your offer but felt free to chastise you.

Miss Manners counts only one here with a full set of manners. Any husbands present should have volunteered.