The Slice: Whaddya think of that name, pardner?

So let’s say a woman you know is about to have a baby.

You have heard the names she is considering and, naturally, you fear for the child. What can you do?

That’s easy. Recommend that, if it’s a boy, the mother consider going with the name of a Western movie bad guy. It’s a salute to regional heritage and offers the promise of a certain “bad boy” air that delusional parents secretly crave.

Here are a few options.

Liberty Valance (from “The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance”): Could call the lad “Liberty,” a young patriot with a badass attitude.

Old Man Clanton (from “My Darling Clementine”): Potential rivals at day care would think twice before making their play. “Hey, Ethan. Don’t mess with Old Man Clanton.”

Thomas Dunson (from “Red River”): Sounds normal and comes with a built-in story. “Yes, he was played by John Wayne.”

Jack Wilson (from “Shane”): Same thing. The little boy could saunter around asking, “What have you heard about me?”

Calvera (from “The Magnificent Seven”): He was bad news, but he wasn’t the one with the “stinkin’ badges” line.

Angel Eyes (from “The Good, The Bad and The Ugly”): This is so awful that it is bound to appeal to young mothers convinced their progeny will be celebrities on some basis other than talent.

Cicero Grimes (from “Hombre”): When other toddlers call him “Sissy,” the boy could get that look in his eyes and everyone would take a step back.

Frank (from “Once Upon a Time in the West”): “Oh, THAT Frank.”

Little Bill Daggett (from “The Unforgiven”): “Please pick up your socks, Little Bill Daggett.”

Ben Wade (from “3:10 to Yuma”): Good solid name. Almost certainly better than the ones on her list of finalists.

Rufus Hennessey (from “The Big Country”): Goes with any last name.

Frank Miller (from “High Noon”): For those who want their son to be feared.

Slice answer: Tim Finneran saw the question about hilarity that led to a loss of bodily control. And he noted that a friend came across a sign in a Montana shop that said “I laughed so hard, tears ran down my leg.”

Today’s Slice question: Do you know anyone who believes there is now more daylight?