The Slice: Quit that whining … we’re nice

Some newcomers complain to me that people in Spokane are not friendly.

So I tell them, no, it’s not that.

It’s just that the longtime residents aren’t sure you are going to stick around. So what’s the point of devoting a lot of time and energy to cultivating a relationship that might well end after six months with your announcement that you are moving to Bellingham or Boise?

That coolness you perceive is actually just efficient time management.

Try to look at it from the longtime Spokane resident’s perspective. Moving to this area is all well and good. But just arriving here isn’t the same thing as making a commitment.

A true commitment takes time and it requires adjusting to this area’s quirks and peculiarities. And, in the end, not everyone finds Spokane to their liking.

So please don’t take this the wrong way. But newcomers are on probation.

You say you love Spokane and want to make this your adopted home?

Well, in the words of Jack Palance’s character in “Shane,” perhaps the greatest Western movie, “Prove it.”

You can do that by sticking around. Then we’ll talk.

Of course, some people who move here thinking it will be for just a couple of years wind up staying and staying and staying. No need for a show of hands.

But here’s a question for longtime Inland Northwesterners: How do you decide that a transplant really is here for good (or at least for the foreseeable future)?

Decoding parentspeak: Anne Remien shared an exchange between her grandsons Ben, age 4, and Joe, age 6.

Ben: “Daddy said I could do it.”

Joe: “No, he didn’t.”

Ben: “Yes, he did. I asked him and he said ‘Uh huh.’ ”

Joe: “That’s what he says when he’s not listening to you!”

Warm-up question: Does your organization have someone who is an excellent judge of character and has a perfect track record when it comes to predicting which of management’s hires will turn out to be disasters?

Today’s Slice question: In lieu of lions and lambs, what animals do you expect March 2012 to come in like and then go out like?