The Slice: Anonymity is the name of this game

I wish I had kept track over the years of Slice readers’ most amazing requests for anonymity.

I would now have a fat file of entertaining demonstrations of timidity.

Some such requests are easy to understand. Others, though, are utterly baffling.

You might assume that the contributors who ask that I not use their names must be readers who have submitted edgy or potentially embarrassing material. You would be mistaken.

Often, requests for anonymity come at the end of the least controversial answers, anecdotes or observations imaginable.

“Dear Slice: I want to tell you that my 4-year-old granddaughter’s stuffed animal collection now includes 10 bears and a dozen bunnies. If you use this, please don’t print my name.”

It makes me wonder. What does such a person suppose would happen if her name appeared in print? Does she fear an angry mob assembling on her front lawn?

Maybe, though, she is aware of the level of discourse in certain corners of society and assumes my using her name would invite harsh online attacks.

“Jane Doe’s cowardly bragging about her grandbrat’s stuffed animals made me sick. Who does she think she is to hold up that spoiled socialist kid as some sort of inspiring role model or agent of change. I hope you die soon, Jane! – Freedumbfighter007”

Or maybe some of my correspondents do not wish to see their names in the newspaper for other reasons. Maybe they owe money and don’t want any public attention. Perhaps they don’t wish their ex to know they are still in town. Or maybe they come from families where getting one’s name in the paper simply was not done. You know, out of some fear that the upper crust of Spokane society will regard them as publicity hounds.

Of course, it could be that they are simply shy. Which is sort of sweet, when you think about it.

Today’s Slice question: According to something I read, Seattle’s Pike Place Market opened on this date in 1907. The first image that comes to mind? Sure. Guys throwing dead fish.

If a Spokane market wanted to have a signature antic along those lines, what could employees throw?

I thought of lentils, but they would be hard to catch.

Maybe we could just hurl accusations or toss in the towel.