Flame has burned out in marriage

Dear Annie: I am in my late 40s, married for 13 years. I was widowed early in my first marriage, and my husband is divorced with children. I knew from the start that we were from different worlds and had few common interests, but I thought that would change over time.

Now I wish we had dated longer. Over the past seven years, we have had little interaction. I do my thing, he does his. We haven’t been intimate or even affectionate for close to a year. We haven’t said “I love you” in forever. Our flame has blown out.

I have tried to speak to my husband about this, and he says I am making something out of nothing. We both are still young. I want to be embraced by longing arms, say I love you and know it is reciprocated. I want to cuddle, laugh, share, talk, look into his eyes with excitement and feel wanted. I’d even love to go to the movies together and hold hands. Am I expecting too much? – Roommate

Dear Roommate: You might be expecting more than your husband is capable of giving, but it’s not too late to address it and figure out your best course of action. Suggest that your husband see his doctor and check his testosterone levels and other possible medical conditions. Then ask him to go with you for counseling so you can work on your communication and intimacy issues. If he refuses, go without him and decide what you can live with. But thank you for providing a word of caution to those who rush into marriage and believe the other person will change.