Annie’s Mailbox: Respect request to not post photos

Dear Annie: Yesterday, our daughter-in-law announced that she did not want pictures of her children posted on Facebook. My wife is beside herself, saying that “Mary” has no right to do this.

My wife refuses to respect the request. She has many pictures of the grandchildren that she took and has already posted on Facebook. Personally, I agree with my daughter-in-law, and as a result, my wife won’t speak to me. She accused me of not being supportive because I’m taking Mary’s side. Can you help? Should my wife take the pictures down? – Annoyed Husband

Dear Annoyed: Yes, and for several reasons. It’s one thing to post a picture of an unknown drunk at a bar. That is fair game. But when someone specifically asks you to remove a picture, it is a sign of good will to do so. Also, these are photographs of children, and parents can be highly sensitive to having those pictures plastered in a public space. Your wife should be respectful of Mary’s parental authority.

Dear Annie: I know how “Widowed and Confused” feels about dating again. I was widowed suddenly at the age of 45. For months, I went to work and came home and sat on my couch until bedtime. Then a good friend took me out to a bar with a live band. When a man asked me to dance, I said yes. My children were grown when their father died, and my oldest was upset to learn I was seeing someone. I said, “Can you tell me when Dad is going to come back? If you can, I’ll sit right here and wait for him.” After a few minutes, she replied, “You’re right, Mom. He’s not coming back, and you need to live your life.”

Tell “Widowed” to ask that same question of anyone who thinks she should mourn forever. If they can give her a “date of return” on her deceased husband, fine. I suspect they’ll see the simple truth and stop trying to make her feel guilty. – Didn’t Wait Forever