Concern can go a long way building customer relations

Some people never grow up, and I am one of them. Or, maybe I just am a bit too competitive. (Most likely a little of both.) Last week I was playing my weekly racquetball game with Fran Bailie, director of human resources at the Spokane Club. We don’t even keep score, but the bragging rights go to the one who loses the fewest long volleys. Fran and I have a great time, and it is a wonderful workout.

There are times I forget that I am not 30 years old, and this game I had several of those memory lapses. The most interesting lapse happened when I dove for a shot, planted my face on the floor, and munched my hand, knee and wrist. Like all events that end in pain, time slowed to a crawl and I knew this was not going to end pretty. It didn’t, and the swelling below my eye started immediately. I used an ice pack for a few minutes before returning to the game, but my sore hand quickly made it impossible to hold the racquet, so we stopped.

The next day I had a shiner that suggested I had been in a bar fight, as it matched my swollen hand. What a sight I was. Nothing was broken, just black, blue, green and puffy. This is when the interesting part of the whole experience began.

The snide comments from my co-workers varied, from “Wow, you finally made some businessperson or consumer mad enough to smack you” to jokes about domestic violence. I used my new look to my advantage and made jokes about it. The doctor (I had my hand x-rayed) told me she’d rather keep seeing me for injuries from my athletic pursuits than have me come in 50 pounds overweight and borderline diabetic.

However, on Monday I did some shopping at River Park Square, and that was an experience. It made me realize that as managers and owners we do not do a very good job of training our employees on how to respond to a customer who looks a bit different. The way I was treated by clerks ranged from completely normal to being ignored, avoiding eye contact, looks of sympathy or suspicion, or just puzzled stares. It was weird to see the discomfort, but once I realized what was happening, I really started paying attention to what we need to be teaching our employees.

Only one person asked me what I did to my eye, and I had interacted with at least 25 people that day. That one person who asked made me feel like she saw me as a person and that she actually cared. Rather than assume the worst, she had the guts and the concern to ask me. I relaxed and so did she. It is amazing what communication will do for an uncomfortable situation.

I understand that a woman of my age with a black eye makes people immediately think of domestic violence, but making such an assumption is like assuming someone who slurs their words is a drunk – and that makes your customers uncomfortable. Not a desired effect when you have someone who wants to spend money in your store or restaurant.

So what should we be teaching?

• Do not assume you know your customer’s circumstances.

• Give them the benefit of the doubt before you conclude something negative about how they act or look.

• There is nothing more connecting than asking someone a question about themselves, so ask!

• Not making eye contact with someone who is differently abled is such a demeaning action; don’t do it.

• Don’t pity someone just because they look or act different; it just hurts.

What could have made my day in public better? More people who asked me how I got my injury, if it hurt, or simply said, “nice shiner!” Acknowledge the issue and move on. Are we so worried about being politically correct that we simply stand silent? Remember, silence can be deafening.