The Slice: ’Twould be a tragedy to miss out on Danes

Here’s a Slice answer that came packaged with a bonus idea.

“We have guests here from Denmark,” wrote Barry Bauchwitz. “They loved the waterfall and Riverfront Park in general. They were impressed by how clean and friendly Spokane is.”

Bauchwitz acknowledged that Spokane is not a destination for many Europeans. But he thinks there might be a tourism niche for us, if we focused on some of the continent’s smaller nations.

“I do believe that with minimal effort the city could be marketed to countries like Denmark,” he wrote.

Sounds good. It would be fun to have Danes in our midst each summer.

But how would we lure them? Promoting our own assets would be part of it, of course. Still, it probably wouldn’t hurt to prime the pump with some special attractions.

1. All-you-can-eat picked herring buffet.

2. “Kroners accepted at par.”

3. A new rollercoaster at Silverwood, “Viking Suicide.”

4. Nightly screenings of “Babette’s Feast” and the various “Hamlet” films. (Blondes admitted for half price.)

5. Community Pledge: “I will not say anything that makes me sound like I am utterly clueless about Scandinavia’s sovereign nations and distinct cultures.”

6. Marmots renamed “Nielsens.”

Heckling hints: If you see a cyclist that you suspect is imagining being in the Tour de France, here are a few things you can yell.

“Hey, you’re the first Tour competitor I’ve seen who is built like Tony Soprano.”

“Better try doping!”

“Le slowpoke!”

“Are you injured?”

“You’re allowed to change gears, you know.”

“When you get to the mountains, try taking a bus.”

Slice answer: Jack Thompson, 78, didn’t have any trouble pinpointing his No. 1 goal for this summer. “Staying alive,” he wrote.

Today’s Slice question: We will know that the “fest” suffix has been thoroughly exhausted in the Spokane area when one day we read about what new community event?