OK to suggest MIL move to your town

Dear Annie: My husband and I have been married for 15 years. For financial reasons, we are only able to afford one vacation a year, so we always visit his parents, who live five hours away. Since having children, the family home is too crowded, so we end up in a hotel, making it more expensive. But I believe my in-laws deserve these visits, and they are good for our children. I have to admit, however, that I am tired of never going anywhere else. My husband’s father passed away two years ago, and his mother has Alzheimer’s. She is in excellent physical health and has assistants in her home every day, plus occasional visits from my sister-in-law. Still, Mom will probably need to be in a nursing home within a year or two. My question is, when it’s time for her to be moved, would it be appropriate to suggest we bring her to our town? My reason, sadly, is somewhat selfish. Having her here would allow us to see her frequently, and we could still take an annual vacation somewhere else. I don’t want to offend my husband by asking. Am I wrong to think this way? – Selfish Wife

Dear Wife: Not at all. You are simply phrasing it incorrectly. The point of moving Mom to your area is to be closer to her, to keep an eye on her care and to be able to see her more often. We doubt your husband would object. In fact, when parents require more demanding care, many children encourage them to move closer for precisely those reasons. You should not only suggest this to your husband, but he should discuss it with his sister. It’s time.