The Slice: Excuse the yellow journalism

Wondering about her plans for world domination, The Slice asked the Dandelion Queen a few questions.

You might not believe her answers.

Slice: Do you come in peace?

DQ: We have always sought to live in harmony with humans. And how have you responded? With sharp instruments, harsh chemicals and coarse language. So who is the aggressor here?

Slice: But if left unchecked, your kind will take over every yard.

DQ: It is our destiny. The green lawn is unnatural. It is an affront to nature.

Slice: How many of your subjects are already on the ground in the Inland Northwest?

DQ: Many, many more than you could count.

Slice: Sometimes at night, I could swear I hear dandelions drumming and chanting. What’s up with that?

DQ: We got that from the movie, “Zulu.” Unnerving, isn’t it?

Slice: That doesn’t sound very peace-loving.

DQ: No? Well, how does this sound: Resistance is futile. Or: “ ‘To Serve Man,’ it’s … it’s a cookbook!” Ahahahaha.

Slice: You’re starting to creep me out.

DQ: Look, I’ll tell you what we want. Remember when you were little and thought of us as flowers? Of course, you do. Well, we want full recognition as such. The term “weed” is offensive.

Slice: What is your favorite album? Film?

DQ: Neil Diamond’s “Tap Root Manuscript” and “I am Curious (Yellow).”

Slice: What’s your favorite movie scene?

DQ: In “Dances With Wolves,” when John Dunbar finally tells Kicking Bird how many of his kind are coming – “Like the stars.”

Slice: What does “Spokane” mean in the dandelion language?

DQ: It means “Children of the Wind.”

Today’s Slice question: What’s the least realistic thing about NBC’s “Friday Night Lights”?