Apparently, this fine city is lacking in March madness

Maybe no one else has ever wondered about this.

But do people whose last name is March typically get a little extra attention on the first day of this month?

I opened a phone book. Then I called Beatrice March, the first of several listings with that name.

Apparently I woke her up.

After apologizing, I asked my question.

“No,” she answered.

OK, then. Let’s move on.

Here are a couple of movie lines you can borrow this month when you need to indicate that you don’t really want to talk about college basketball:

1. “You aren’t too smart, are you?” — Matty Walker in “Body Heat”

2. “I hate you and your ass face.” — Corky St. Clair in “Waiting for Guffman”

You make the call: Film buffs know what the doomsday device was all about in “Dr. Strangelove.”

But what would a Bloomsday device do?

No, time hasn’t really moved ahead: There are people who still have hours of recorded Olympics coverage to fast-forward through.

Today’s Slice question: Which TV show would you be mostly likely to watch?

A) “Real Housewives of Spokane Valley.” B) “Idahoan Idol.” C) “CSI Airway Heights.” D) “Survivor: STA Plaza.” E) “Dancing With the Zags.” F) “Keeping Up with the Kleckners.” G) “Pit-Bull Whisperer.” H) “How I Met Your Bail Bondsman.” I) “Pend Oreille County’s Next Top Model.”

J) “Leave it to Marmot.” K) “Greenacres.” L) “Fluoride Roadshow.” M) “The Dukes of Athol.” N) “The Fresh Prince of Hillyard.” O) “The King of East Central.” P) “Everybody Loves Moos.”

Q) “Post Falls Legal.” R) “Darn That Race Track.” S) “Little Strip Mall on the Prairie.” T) “Pimp My Stroller.” U) “Two and a Half Panhandlers.” V) “Are You Smarter Than a Montanan?” W) “I Married an EWU Grad.” X) “The Price is Too High.” Y) “South Hill 99203.” Z) “Desperate Yard Salers.”