Tipsy son-in-law worries g’ma-to-be

Dear Annie: My son-in-law drinks too much. Over the years, I’ve seen “Ted” overindulge at weddings, and I notice he consumes a tremendous amount of beer. Lately, my worry has turned from concern to alarm.

They live far away, but we spent a few days with them over the holidays. Ted now starts with wine in the afternoon and has half a dozen beers every night while watching TV. Whenever they go out, my daughter is the driver. When he goes out alone, he takes a cab.

I don’t believe this is normal behavior. My daughter says nothing about his drinking, although she made one comment about his not helping around the house. She is expecting their first child soon, and he will have to drive her to the hospital. What if he’s been drinking?

Ted recently lost his job. (I’m not sure why.) I thought my husband, who has been a recovered alcoholic for more than 30 years, would be the perfect person to talk to him. But he thinks we shouldn’t get involved. I am worried sick about the safety and emotional health of my daughter, not to mention their financial future. If I bring this up, am I being a caring mother or an interfering mother-in-law? – Worried Mom

Dear Worried: At least Ted knows not to get behind the wheel, which gives you an opportunity to say something: Ask your daughter who will be driving her to the hospital when she goes into labor. Be very matter-of-fact when you make sure it’s not Ted. She’ll understand why. Then suggest she call Al-Anon (al-anon.alateen.org) at 1-888-4AL-ANON (1-888-425-2666). You can call them, too. If she tells you to back off, say nothing more.