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The Slice: Here’s to George C. Scott

George C. Scott’s two memorable general roles – Patton and Turgidson. (The Spokesman-Review)

The great actor George C. Scott died on this date 10 years ago.

But his legacy endures. Many everyday situations can be dealt with by recycling lines uttered by characters Scott played in the movies.

It’s true. I’ll show you.

Your neighbors are making a bit too much noise: “We’re not just going to shoot the bastards, we’re going to cut out their living guts.” — Gen. George S. Patton Jr., “Patton”

You feel the need to be frank with your boss: “You’re gonna get your thumbs broken again. And your fingers. If I want ’em to, they’re gonna break your right arm in three or four places.” — Bert Gordon, “The Hustler”

You work in the health care field and find that some of your co-workers are a tad smug: “We’ve established the most enormous medical entity ever conceived and people are sicker than ever. We cure nothing! We heal nothing!” — Dr. Herbert Bock, “The Hospital”

You are talking to a reporter about some screw-up that happened on your watch: “I don’t think it’s quite fair to condemn a whole program because of a single slip-up.” — General Buck Turgidson, “Dr. Strangelove”

You are a college administrator in virtually any situation: “Son, you’d be amazed at the hundreds of satisfied students I’ve matriculated.” — Mordecai Jones, “The Flim-Flam Man”

You want someone to realize you’ve been around the block a time or two: “When I was overseas during the war, your honor, I learned a French word I’m afraid that might be slightly suggestive.” — Claude Dancer, “Anatomy of a Murder”

A certain Spokane TV news reporter is coming to you live: “Turn it off! Turn it off! TURN IT OFF!” — Jake Van Dorn, “Hardcore”

Today’s Slice question: If you were invited to name a new extra-sweet variety of apple, what would you suggest?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; fax (509) 459-5098; e-mail pault@spokesman.com. For previous Slice columns, see www.spokesman.com/columnists. Thanks for the beard management tips. I’ll share a few later this week.

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