Throw a good party

A recent story I wrote about art parties for birthdays prompted a reader named Annie to send me an e-mail.

She thinks there’s way too much pressure out there for parents. So she advises moms like me to chill out and not worry so much about these kids’ events. She made me laugh and I found her perspective refreshing.

“You probably hear this from us old curmudgeons all the time but I am constantly appalled by what parents go through for small children’s events and also by the way children today feel entitled to being treated as the center of all adults’ universe. I see a direct correlation.

Planning the party for small children:

1. Let the child pick a cake out of a cookbook (a book with nice photos, a cake that is cute but not too difficult to make) and help him or her make it.

2. Invite as many true friends as your house will hold. (If you have a large yard and the weather will be nice, as in Spokane, this can be more in good weather.)

3. Include schoolmates, relatives, neighbors but they must be true friends; exclude those who aren’t. You are the parent; don’t be a wuss here; stick up for your child’s true friends on this one day for goodness sake. No “whole class,” or your sister will be mad if her brat isn’t included.

4. Get out the sacred games that are only played once a year: Pin the Tail on the Donkey, drop the clothespins in the bottle, etc. You may not use this as a lesson on donkeys, milk in bottles or clothes on lines; if you don’t have them, find them or improvise.

5. Do not let the child give out the invitations; do it yourself. Really! Up until the children reach the age of 5, a parent may wish to come; another reason to keep it small. Encourage them. Have “mommy and daddy” punch. It will be fun.

6. All you need to buy is cake and frosting ingredients, ice cream, plates and cups, juice and milk, plastic forks and spoons, and a prize for each game (optional; and don’t buy dollar store crap).

Remember the sad, sad birthday party Steve Martin creates for his son in “Parenthood?”

The children who expect elaborate parties also expect their first job to be fulfilling and rewarding and pay well. I think we need to prepare children better for the real world. Sometimes you have to walk for miles and eat beans!”

— Posted by

Virginia de Leon

Join the

conversation at www.spokesman.com/ blogs/parents