The Slice: Lil’ Whammy? Now you’re talking, baby

I’ve been thinking about that Spokane newborn given the middle name “Cupcake” a couple of weeks ago.

Why stop there?

Why not give other babies food names? But from here on, let’s go with local themes.

You could name a kid Lentil. Sure, that would be a natural. “OK, Lenty, time for your bath. Peas, you’re next.”

Or how about Wheat? “Wheatie, have you seen your sister?”

Whamington? “Honey, Whammy needs changing.”

Not wild about the food-monikers thing? OK, how about naming the child after local financial services concerns?

How about Ameriprise? Prospera? Alliant? Primerica?

Or maybe baby names based on engineering firms is the way to go.

“Don’t make me come up there, Integrus.”

“Strata, I want you to clean up your room right this instant.”

“Eat your mush, Allwest.”

How about naming newborns after bail-bond outfits?

Zig Zag? Quick Release? Asap?

How about fence businesses?

“Bulldog, did you do this?”

“Owl, come in here right now.”

“It’s time to get ready to go, Rezcom.”

OK, I have it – towing services. What kid wouldn’t enjoy being called Action, Nite-Bird or Safe-T?

Or maybe not.

Let’s move on.

•2008 accomplishments in review: “I am 67 and I learned to bait and set the spring on mousetraps and disposed of 11 mouse carcasses,” wrote Julie Farmer.

•Someone noticed: “I am writing to you because something amazing happened to me today (Friday) and I would really like to send a thank-you via The Slice.

“My name is Emily Paulson and I am the coordinator of a nonprofit based out of Gonzaga University. We take extra food out of campus dining facilities and box it up as meals and deliver to various low-income seniors and shelters in Spokane. I love my job and believe in the work that we do. But because it is nonprofit work, it is sometimes difficult to make ends meet for myself and my daughter.

“This morning I found a card in the mail with no return address. I opened the card and it said, ‘For all that you do for others … Thank you! This is for you!’

“Inside the card was an anonymous cashier’s check for $1,000. I have no idea who could have done this for me and my daughter, but they could never know how much it means to me. I would really like to send a sincere thank-you to my secret helper.”

•Today’s Slice question: Which will be the last mound of snow to disappear this spring/summer?