Hoping for a change

When Dane Cook was 3, he was attacked – and almost killed, he says – by a German shepherd. Beneath his hair is a zigzagging scar that became etched into his cranium after he received nearly 80 stitches.

“Hopefully, someday, I’ll play a James Bond villain,” he says. “I’ll shave my head, so you can see all the ravines.”

Such a role would probably have more bite than Cook’s previous efforts on the big screen – like Dennis Rodman’s wisecracking sidekick in the forgettable 1999 action flick “Simon Sez.”

Or as a slacker stockboy who falls for a big-eared cashier (played by Jessica Simpson) in the zany 2006 romantic comedy “Employee of the Month.” And even as Jessica Alba’s cursed love interest in the 2007 sex romp “Good Luck Chuck.”

Cook, 36, has consistently been dubbed unfunny by movie critics, despite his continued success as a stand-up comedian.

He’s aware of such shortcomings, referring to his filmography as a “highlight reel.”

“I don’t believe I watch any of my previous comedies and say, as a complete story, I’m interested in watching this from beginning, middle to end,” Cook says.

That may change with his latest effort, the R-rated romantic comedy “My Best Friend’s Girl,” which opens in theaters today.

“This is the one where I look at it and think there’s a character and a real evolution with this guy,” he says.

“With ‘Chuck’ or ‘Employee of the Month,’ I was playing the levelheaded middle, carrying the film at the center with a lot of craziness going on around me. I finally wanted an opportunity to take some of the elements of my stand-up and mix it together with a fun story.”

In the new film, Cook plays Tank Turner, an air purifier call-center supervisor by day, anti-Cupid by night. He’s a suave emotional terrorist for hire by freshly dumped guys; for a fee, Tank will subject their ex-girlfriends to the worst date of their lives in hopes they go running back to their respective boyfriends. They usually do.

Tank’s game changes when he meets – all together now – his best friend’s girl, who gnaws through his bravado after a drunken tryst.

The best friend is played by Jason Biggs from the “American Pie” films. Kate Hudson from “Fool’s Gold” serves as the girl. Alec Baldwin also portrays Tank’s lecherous father in a handful of scenes.

“These people bring a high caliber of talent to the table,” says Cook. “I frequently get to live that writer-director-actor role as a comedian, so I crave different kinds of opportunities when I’m not doing stand-up.”

To prepare for steamy kissing scenes with bombshell leading ladies such as Hudson, Alba and Simpson, Cook says he’s developed a tradition: Before production begins, he nonchalantly asks his co-stars about their favorite flavor of gum or mint.

Hudson’s pick? Lifesavers Pep-o-Mint.

Such scenes still make Cook giddy.

“You tend to go back to how you felt when you were in high school,” he says. “Even though you’re professional actors, you come to those scenes wondering things like: ‘Are you going to be mad if I kiss you? Do I put my hands on the small of your back or can I go lower? Is that too low? Can you draw a map of where I can touch you?’ ”

After enduring “are they or aren’t they?” rumors while working with Simpson, Cook is keeping tightlipped about his love life.

He won’t say whether he lives alone in his recently purchased first home. Following years of renting – and fighting eviction from his West Hollywood apartment complex in July – he bought a house in the Hollywood Hills.

“It’s got an energy,” Cook says of the four-bedroom enclave. “It’s got a certain feng shui. I was looking for a couple of years for the perfect spot, never thinking I would find one.

“I think it’s going to keep me comfortable. It’ll be my little Fortress of Solitude.”

Whatever happens with “My Best Friend’s Girl,” Cook has no plans to completely abandon his comedy roots.

He’s working on his fourth comedy album – the last as part of his four-record deal with Comedy Central – as well as plotting an accompanying comedy TV special and tour.