Solo outing tests girl’s strength, will, soul

Ellie LaRocca didn’t have a plan for last summer – a mistake she may not make again.

Her parents came up with a plan for her.

“They thought I should try something different,” recalled LaRocca, who was 15 last summer and just finishing her freshman year at Lewis and Clark High School.

“They said I could go stay with family in Montana and work on a farm, or I could go on this adventure trip.”

The choice seemed clear until she found herself in a group of seven other students with three adult mentors on the trail for more than two weeks, under a backpack loaded to 60 percent of her body weight, capped with 48 hours of fasting and a mind-racking 40-hour solo.

LaRocca said she wouldn’t repeat this outdoor adventure. On the other hand, she said, “It’s the hardest and best thing I’ve done in my life.”

• How did you get involved with this adventure (organized by Bothell-based Rites of Passage Journeys)?

“Dad saw it on the internet. Most of the kids were troubled in one way or another. My folks didn’t tell me that. I’m not sure they knew. I found myself with a group I wouldn’t hang out with at home.”

•How did it begin?

“A 12-day backpack, hiking 12-13 miles a day (up the Elwha River into Olympic National Park). I didn’t prepare for this. I started in jeans. Luckily, my dad put appropriate clothes in my bag.

“Our mentors didn’t tell us what to do. We had to figure things out. One girl was crying. Actually, everyone was crying. It was so physically challenging….”

•What are your most vivid memories from that stage?

“We ate wild edibles. I can’t tell you what they were. It wasn’t good, but all we had was a half a bagel or something for lunch after seven miles. We were on the trail from 6 a.m. to sunset. I was starving all the time.

“Once we were given some honey, something so common at home I don’t even try it. But out there at that moment it was the most amazing thing. Honey with peanut butter and apple. Oh my god. I’ve never had that combination since. It could never be the same.”

• Tell us about the solo experience.

“We had been hiking and camping on the Olympic (wilderness) beaches when the mentors got us out of our sleeping bags at 2 a.m. and led us down the beach, just as we were – in shorts and T-shirts. One by one, we were dropped off at a designated spot….

“I started my fire and then I realized I couldn’t see any other fires. It was really dark. I’m extremely afraid of the dark and this was the darkest moment of my life.

“Minutes passed like hours. I couldn’t sleep. I sat by the fire and covered my legs with sand.

“I sang songs and thought about where I want to go in life.

“I thought about how grateful I am. It was invigorating. I’ve never just sat with myself. I wrote a poem and read it over and over….

“The hunger was consuming me all through the next day. We hardly had anything for our last dinner and we were given no food for our solo. By sunset the next night I was getting more scared.

“In general, I’m extremely anxious. Our family has a really old house and I’ve been to the point I couldn’t sleep in my own room. I started imagining things. I saw a Godfather-like face on a rock. I talked to it. That’s all I had, that face and my fire….

“The clouds moved in and hid the stars, so it was even darker. Then there was a torrential downpour. I kept my fire going, but I had to go out from under my tarp to get wood and I was shaking with cold.

“My thoughts turned to bears in the middle of the night and my heart started racing…. I broke. I started running down the beach until I ran into one of my mentors. He was doing Tai Chi. He talked to me but I don’t remember what he said. I was crying and screaming. I hadn’t eaten in two days.

“They gave me water and I went back to my fire. It was still burning. I put on more wood and stayed there for another 12 hours, the longest day of my life.

“When the mentors finally came to get me, they said I was the only one in the group who kept a fire burning….

“The idea is that we would leave our childhood behind on the beach and be reborn as adults. We had a ceremony and fresh fruit, with the most amazing strawberries on the planet.

“Then I slept like a baby.”

•Would you recommend this to a friend?

“Dad and Mom were a little shocked when I told them what I’d gone through. Dad decided to even things out a little, so he went out on his own solo vigil in the Selkirks.

“I wouldn’t suggest this sort of thing for my friends. They would hate me. But I think my brothers should do it.”