Love Story: Long wait was worth it for couple

Some fellows are slow starters. Tom Murphy met his future bride, Betsy, when he was 4 years old. However, it took him 52 years to marry her. The couple, who wed on Feb. 14, 2006, say it was worth the wait.

They owe their meeting to an awful disease which affected many people in the early 1950s. Tom’s father and Betsy’s mother both suffered from polio. The two families met at the YMCA’s polio aquatic club. “I remember having family dinners at the Murphy house,” Betsy said. “There were 10 kids in the family. Tom was my brother’s age and the boys tormented the girls.”

Tom’s mother, Virginia, and Betsy’s mother, Gene, became fast friends. While the mothers maintained their friendship, the children grew apart in high school. Betsy attended Ferris, but Tom chose Gonzaga Prep. After graduation Betsy moved to Portland, where she married and raised two sons. She was divorced in 1982.

Tom stayed in Spokane and worked at Kaiser Mead. He married, raised two daughters and was divorced in 2000.

When Betsy returned to Spokane in 2005, she discovered that her mother and Tom’s mother met for lunch every Thursday. Occasionally, they would invite their kids to join them. According to Tom, “The mothers had plans.” His mom repeatedly encouraged him to ask Betsy out.

So Tom invited Betsy to a movie on a Friday night. The following Friday it seemed natural to ask her again. Soon he was stopping by her house after work with a pizza. It didn’t take long for the blossoming friendship to turn into romance.

After his divorce, Tom had moved back to the family home with his mother. He laughed. Though he was 56 at the time he said, “We felt like little kids. Mom would say, ‘Now, you call me if you’re going to be late.’ “

The couple said when they told their moms they were going to marry, both mothers feigned surprise. On their wedding, it was only fitting that their mothers gave them away and served as their attendants.

The Murphys’ earlier marriages had left them both financially and emotionally devastated. Neither expected to find love again. They embarked on their new life together with very little, much like younger newlyweds. “I had two La-Z-Boy chairs and a lamp,” Tom said. Betsy added with a chuckle, “And I had a lot of boxes.”

They bought a charming yellow bungalow on the South Hill and set up housekeeping. However, their happy plans for remodeling and gardening were abruptly cut short when Betsy suffered a heart attack in May 2007. That heart attack precipitated two strokes. Suddenly their vows of “in sickness and in health” took on poignant meaning.

“My entire left side was paralyzed,” Betsy said. She spent three weeks in the hospital and three weeks at St. Luke’s Rehabilitation Institute. “Tom was there every minute he could,” she said. “He brewed my special coffee and brought it to me at the hospital. He was my rock.”

Her eyes filled with tears as she described how Tom went shopping and bought her Velcro fastening shoes and shirts that were easy to slip on.

Tom was amazed by his bride’s determination and resiliency. “The best way to get her motivated is to tell her she can’t do something.”

“I remember when I took my first step,” Betsy said. “I cried. I thought I’d never walk again.” She paused and looked around her cheerful kitchen. “I had to learn how to cut up veggies and how to cook in my kitchen again. It was hard.”

Today, she’s almost completely recovered from her illness and has only minor limitations. But the trauma they went through has changed them. “We look forward to every single day together,” Betsy said. “It’s a blessing to sit and have coffee in the backyard.”

She said she loves holding her husband’s hand and just being near him. When asked what he most enjoys about his wife, Tom grinned and raised his eyebrows, “Her hourglass figure,” he said. Betsy laughed. “He needs glasses!”

Then Tom grew serious and gazed at his wife. “Betsy is the sunniest, most positive person I know,” he said. “Everywhere she goes she brings out the best in people.”

The couple sat quietly for a moment and looked at each other across the table. “We had nothing when we met,” Betsy said. “But we found everything in each other.”